The Four Loves: The Much Beloved Exploration of the Nature of Love

This is actually my second time reading through The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.  The first time was when I was a sophomore in college – almost six years ago.  I was a rather young Christian back then, so giving this another read through was in order.  But from what I did remember was that the word “love” is a complicated and weighty word, especially in the English language.  Whereas some languages or cultures have different words for different types of love, we do not benefit from such a system.  In that way, our language is inefficient and misleading.  Today, we practically classify any positive feeling under the banner of love, when in fact, we should take caution to dissect and understand what this word is really means in today’s culture and society.

In the introduction, Lewis first takes time to divide the word Love into Need-Love and Gift-Love.  This important distinction is the first of many that builds the framework for the rest of the book.  And though Lewis acknowledges a hierarchy of loves through the book, he also recognizes that “the highest does not stand without the lowest.”  This reoccurring claim points to an important conclusion that all four types of love are necessary, and deeper into the text it becomes obvious that it is rare for any of the four loves to exist in complete isolation.

Although The Four Loves is an insightful and challenging read, I’m just as sure that it will be pleasurable and therapeutic.  Personally, I enjoyed the chapter on Friendship; I have always had a fondness of cultivating meaningful friendships.  However, I feel in the minority compared to American society.  Lewis explains that Friendship includes all who have a common interest, but must exclude those who do not.  And in any culture that demands universal acceptance, the idea of exclusion is a frightening and dangerous one.

After his first two introductory chapters, Lewis spends the last four chapters on each of the four loves: Affection, Friendship (Philia), Romantic (Eros), then Charity.  I won’t bother to explain any of them in depth, as I’m sure of my inability to give Lewis’ work proper justice.  You should read it for yourself.

Before closing out, here is one of my favorite sections:

There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Like I said before, this is a challenging read but also very warming.  I’m aware that my above reflections of The Four Loves may not be fully indicative of that, but it truly is.  There are so many little nuggets of wisdom and understanding that it is certainly worth a few hours of your time.  This short book is a staple of any reader’s library and an essential for the intellectual Christian.  You will not be disappointed.

Bacon Rating: 4.5 out of 5