2013 Resolutions

After looking back on my resolutions from last year, I'm only really happy with the fact that I did, in fact blog more.  Next year, I'm looking to make right what I didn't this year.  So back to the drawing board...

1. Read Through the Bible in a Year - For Christmas I asked for a Bible that is made especially for this purpose.  Although I think reading through the Bible chronologically is a worthwhile endeavor, I'm not disciplined enough to do it on my own.  I did well through Genesis and Exodus, but Numbers really slowed me down because I was reading more for understanding, and I didn't remember a lot of it the first time I read through it back in 2005.  I strongly resolve to have the Bible read in a calendar year - despite having a newborn.
2. As for adding 5 to 10 pounds of muscle, I may had accomplished that during the summer, but I certainly lost it going into the new school year.  I'm not sure where I'm going to fit in regular exercise into my routine, but if I can carve some time out for that a few days a week, I'll be content.  This year, I want gain muscle and keep it!
3. More Blogging!  I did well, and I'm looking to do even more this year.  With new pictures of Evelyn being taken almost daily, I don't think it will be hard to do some of those.  I'm also looking to be a bit more open and vulnerable as well.  We'll see what happens.

To read a better blog about resolutions, check this one out.

Lastly, I have Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4" stuck in my head.

Happy New Year!

Homecoming

It's been a full week of excitement at home with our new bundle of joy and it's been a wonderful week of bonding.  For the most part, Evelyn has a great temperament and is adjusting well to a feeding and sleeping schedule.

Mommy has almost fully recovered herself, and it's a relief to finally see her being more independent and acting like herself.

We're both overjoyed and gladly offer you these pictures of our first week home.  Enjoy!

About ready to come home!

Home at last in her monkey PJs

Uncle Adam and Evelyn at the Christmas Party

Bath Time!

Evelyn Mae Kovac

Born at 3:11pm, weighing at 7lbs., 7oz.  19 3/4 inches long.

I know you only want to see pictures anyway, so here you go.

Should I Send This E-Mail to My Students?

Update: Thanks to everyone who commented on Facebook.  I've always used blogging as a way to help think through my own thoughts, and having additional perspectives from such wonderful people is highly valued and a blessing to me!  Here's the final product.


To My Precious Students,

I wanted to write this short message to you to let you know that I earnestly hope that we will never have to personally experience what happened last Friday in Newtown, CT at any of our schools.  As more details are being released about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, my heart breaks for the entire community of children, parents and staff that will have to endure this tragedy long after the last of the press and media leave.  However, please be reminded that without a doubt, our first priority at Vestal is to ensure your safety – and we would do so by the same means and actions that the staff took at Sandy Hook if necessary.

Personally, I and many other teachers entered the profession because we love working with you, our students.  As a result, this means we end up spending more with you than our own families.  It’s not always put into words, but that means is that we are not only here to educate you, but we also care and love you a lot as well – even as our own children.

If you are interested in having a conversation about what happened at Sandy Hook, I imagine many of the teachers would be open for dialogue, providing the appropriate time.  I would also be open for conversations with any of you outside class time when I return.  Additionally, you are always welcome to talk to any one of the guidance counselors this week.  They care a lot for you, too, even though you don’t see them every day.

Lastly, please strive to be kind to one another, and show respect for your fellow students as well as the staff.  Compassion is a virtue that heals hurting hearts.  And when you go home every day, make sure to tell your families that you love them.

I am sending this to all of my students, so please be sure to share this with your classmates.  Have a restful and peaceful vacation, and I’m looking forward to teaching you again when I return in January.

Mr. Kovac   

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part VIII

On Friday, Andrea got some very exciting news and it seems as though Baby's arrival is very imminent.  But this entry isn't about baby's soon arrival.  It's about the final challenge to gain the title of fatherhood - fixing a flat tire.  

Let's be clear - I'm not mechanic and I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to fixing anything regarding vehicles.  Earlier this summer it took me 2 hours to change the battery because I dropped a screw into the heart of the engine block.  Usually when it comes to fixing something on anything I own, something worse has to happen immediately after that.  This trial would be no different.

As I hear the wonderful baby news on Friday afternoon, my wife also informs me that she was unable to get to her appointment today because Elaine (our mid-size Hyundai Elantra), had a flat right-front tire in our driveway.  At the time, I wasn't too concerned, knowing that we had a spare in the trunk.  After a few minutes of fooling around, I find spare tire and the jack.  Here I discover the first roadblock - no torque wrench (to remove the lug nuts).  You'll find this whole adventure is like that cartoon with Sylvester when he has the can of cat food but no can opener.

I go inside and do a quick research on torque wrench sizes, and go to the store in the other car.  When I return, it takes all my strength - and a bit of fancy legwork - to loosen the lug nuts.  I remove the flat tire, and proceed to using the car jack.  Crank, crank, crank.  As I'm about ready to install the spare wheel, disaster strikes.  The car starts slowly moving forward, removes itself off the jack, and the entire front end of the car kisses the driveway full of pebbles, dirt and concrete.  For a moment, I'm at loss for words.  I retreat to go consult my wife.

Andrea - at 38 weeks pregnant - is now watching me and providing moral support as I now have a second jack from our other car (Serena).  If I can use the second jack to lift up the car enough, I can retreve the first one which is currently crushed under the car.  This plan works and I now am in possession of both car jacks.   As I'm working both of these jacks, I realize the sun is now setting fast and its getting cold.  Working quickly, I raise the car high enough again to install the spare tire.  But just like last time, Andrea and I both see the car slowly moving forward, and watch in horror as it falls off BOTH the jacks smacks the ground a second time.  I exclaim loudly a swear.

With the car now at least 4 feet forward from its original position, Andrea finds an overhead light out of nowhere and we reassess the situation.  The jack closest to the axle is pinned under the car again, but the extra one is accessible.  "How about you turn on the emergency brake?" my wife kindly suggests; I feel like an idiot.  Repeat above process and I'm finding that on my fourth and fifth time using them, I'm quickly quite efficient at using car-jacks.  In less than 7 minutes, the car is suspended successfully and doesn't fall off.  I install the spare tire successfully.

I test the car to assess if any damage occurred when it fell.  In reverse, everything is flawless.  Driving a few feet forward we hear a dreadful, screeching noise.  I get out of the car and upon further inspection, we now conclude that spare tire is now flat.  All attempts to inflate the tire with our air compressor prove useless, and the evening concludes with bitterness and defeat.  An inflated tire must be obtained tomorrow.

Saturday morning starts with a meal of french toast and ends with me taking a trip to the closest tire store to see if they patch the original tire.  No dice.  So I order a new tire and pick it up 5 hours later.  I return with inflated tire, jack and torque wrench.  In 10 minutes I have the spare tire off, emergency brake on (haha, I learned!), and the new tire on.  Time for a test drive.  Silent when backing up, but screeching all the way down the block.  Frustrated, I turn to the Internet for diagnostics and advice.  Could be brake pads, bad rotor, or pebbles stuck in the rotor.  "Great," I say as I roll my eyes thinking how many pebbles must have gotten jammed into the rotor when it hit the ground TWICE.

Outside I go.  Jack the car, emergency brake on, new inflated tire off.  Flashlight and Leatherman tool in hand I start inspecting the rotor.  Surprisingly, no pebbles to be found.  However, I do part of the axle guard touching the rotor.  So Leatherman transforms into pliers and I bend the metal back.  New inflated tire back on, jack down, emergency brake off, and another test drive.

The car runs silently.

Upon realizing that after hours of labor, and strife, and grief, and cold and mud, and backache have achieved the goal at hand, I know now, undoubtedly, that I am ready to be a father.

For the final pregnancy pictures, see Andrea's Blog here!

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part VII

Big news.  Sounds like Baby is currently "engaged." (Hopefully won't have to write that again until another 20-25 years!)  For my friend reading this who haven't had children or are unfamiliar with the term, in means the baby's head is in the pelvis and is basically waiting for contractions to start.  For us, this means we're looking at an early delivery - as early as next week.  *Gulp.*

Good thing we spent last weekend getting the hospital bags ready.  We have baby clothes, adult clothes, toiletries, slippers, card games (Go-Stop), favorite foods, a book, and few other things packed tightly together.  Turns out, as most things with pregnancy, it was a bigger chore than getting a suitcase ready for vacation.  But thankfully, the month long birthing classes that we took early gave us plenty of resources - including what you need and don't need at the hospital.

Writing this on Thanksgiving Eve, Andrea and I have so much to be thankful for.  Regardless of what happens at the end of the school year, we're both happily employed and grateful for the security of having a generous income.  More importantly, after going through all the showers, and seeing the generosity of friends, co-workers and family, that support our decision to start a family.  Of course the gifts themselves are helpful and practical, but the thought and confirmation behind them has been a comfort for both of us in the later stages of pregnancy.

We hope you have a lot to be thankful for as well.

Here are the four shadow boxes Andrea made.  I'll post preggy pictures next time.

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part VI

We're exactly one month away from Andrea's due date!

Although it's difficult to precisely know when Baby will be among us, it is certain that in about a month from now our family will increase by one.  The anticipation of a newborn has definitely presented life with a new and exciting kind of spice.  All thoughts are of the future, thinking about the impending delivery date and the days to follow.  Where will we be when contractions start?  How will the baby be delivered? How long will we be at the hospital?  How many days of school do I get to miss?  When will we be able to come home?  The questions are overwhelming, but the answers will come before long.

As might be expected from someone who enjoys and teaches math, all this mystery and excitement isn't without it's fair share of frustration.  I like to know, predict and analyze things.  I want to have a plan, work through the plan, and complete the plan as expected.  But babies, I've learned, aren't predictable.  In the early months before we knew Baby's gender, it was difficult to even view myself as a parent.  But when that summer morning in July came around and I saw her on the ultrasound, it quickly became tangible for me.  And then soon afterward, a nervous about having a girl.  Today, I'm comfortable knowing that we'll be raising a little girl, but now I'm more nervous about being a good parent.  I know I've been blessed by people's love, support and encouragement; it's wonderful to have family and friends come together to help Andrea and I receive this baby into the world.  However, I'm not naive enough to forget that I am a creature who sins and makes mistakes.  No parent is perfect, and I will make mistakes.  I just have to rely and trust that God knows that I am ready to be a father.

Spiritually, I haven't thought much about Baby yet.  Most of my thoughts are looking forward to the typical baby landmarks.  But once the baby is born and we return to church with our daughter in tow, I pray that God will begin to turn my thoughts toward being a better husband who serves his wife, and a father who can raise a daughter that fully understands the riches that Christ has to offer her.  I must remind myself that before I even knew Baby, God has already loved her perfectly.

Here are some of the drawing/prints Andrea made that are hanging around the nursery:

  

Goodbye, Kellie!

After getting to know Kellie for two years at Alfred University, I eventually moved back to the area in 2008 to get my Masters in Education at Binghamton University.  Although Binghamton was the place I spent the first seven years of my life, it still posed the same challenges that anyone would face moving to a new city.  Thankfully, Kellie had been also been attending BU as a graduate student as well, and became my first friend in the area.  Ever since the days we spent in the hallowed halls of academia, Kellie has become mine and Andrea's most trusted and beloved friend.  Over the course of three years, we have worshiped together, served together, celebrated each other's birthdays and other miscellaneous occasions, gone on countless trips and vacations, and attended many Bible studies together.  Kellie and I even had an opportunity to work together at our previous employments at Broome Community College and observed each other's classes.

However unfortunate for us, Kellie has been given an opportunity to find employment in the great state of Rhone Island, a place much closer to her boyfriend, Albert.  As much as we would love to still have Kellie with us, it's challenging to be in a long-distance relationship, especially for as long as Kellie and Albert have been dating.  So at the very least Kellie, I will continue to pray that the time spent in Rhode Island yields you much fruit spiritually, financially (with gainful employment) and emotionally (with you awesome boyfriend)...

...but I'll also continue to pray that God will bring you back to us through a Naval Academy on the Susquehanna.

There's a lot of ways I can close this blog entry out, but I think this is most appropriate:

We love and miss you Kellie.  Our loss is certainly Rhode Island's gain!

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part V

So the registries have been made and all the showers have come and gone.  We were blessed enough to have three: one for church and friends, a second for family, and the math department through me one.  Since I wasn't at the first two though, I don't think I'm very qualified to talk about what happens at showers.  However, I am exceeding content and humble to receive as much support and love from those who have participated.  For that I am very grateful.

On Tuesday, we'll be in Week 35 and both of us are very excited but also very much aware that Baby will be with us in about a month.  We are also very much aware a lot has to be done, and as of tonight, we're feeling a bit overwhelmed.  There are still a number of things we have to do (wash new baby clothes, clean the rug, get the hospital bag together, get car seat inspected, etc.) and remaining essentials to buy (diapers, bottles, crib mattress, sleeper sacks, etc).

In addition to all that we have Christmas to worry about.  Andrea is diligently working away on Nativity figures, while I'm writing lesson plans and making materials weeks in advance in hope that I can take about 5 days off from school.

Oh don't worry though, I put up the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling last night.  Looks awesome.

Here's to hoping we can be a bit more put together by Thanksgiving!

Our nursery is underwater themed.  Andrea did most of the work here.

29 Weeks

33 Weeks

The Wrench

A few times a year, public school teachers get an opportunity to say phrases that aren't normally uttered by anyone ever.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I am just about to start my lesson when an usually loud clang gains the attention of the entire class. As I look towards the noise, there is a large 18-inch silver wrench lying on the floor.  As people identity the noise, there's that super quiet moment where no one quite knows what to say or do.  C, a shy student, leans over and picks up the wrench that has fallen three feet onto the floor.  In jest, I finally break the silence with the unnecessary request, "Please try to keep the wrench inside your book bag."  

The class laughs and just before we start the lesson C, informs us, "It's for tech club... after school."

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part IV

One joke I tell someone who is getting married is, "Planning your wedding is the final test of engagement."  If you're able to plan a big event together, there are few things that can stand in your path.  There is so much food to be made (and eaten), entertainment to arrange, a photographer to hire, invitations to write, and a registry to agree on.  But when it comes to building a baby registry for your first child, Andrea and I both agreed that planning our wedding seemed so much easier.

With an overabundance of products - ranging from extremely necessary to ridiculously unnecessary - it doesn't take long to get confused at what exactly and truly needed.  After hours of online research, fact-checking with friends, and a few trips to actual stores, it took Andrea and I about a month to be confident we put together a registry that best suits us.  Feel free to check them both out on Target or Babies-R-Us.

As for a house update, we are pretty much baby ready.  The only thing missing now is everything that's on the registry getting inside our apartment.  I'll take pictures this weekend and give you a tour of our lovely home... right before I put the plastic insulation over the windows.  So be patient with me.

The important thing going on around here was the month long birthing classes.  Along with the hectic that the beginning of a school year brings, the birthing classes did a good job in preventing me from doing as much blogging as I'd like.  We had four sessions at the hospital where we are planning on having Baby.  Although I was very skeptical about the entire experience, enduring the two-and-a-half hour session once-a-week was actually very informative and helpful.  I certainly won't be calling myself an expert, but I know enough to be some-what helpful during the delivery process.  Also, I finally know what entrance of the hospital to drive and bring Andrea into, which is also valuable information.  (Emergency Room, by the way, for those who are curious.)

Every week the inevitable truth becomes harder to avoid - just like Andrea's tummy.  Baby Kovac will be among us in about 10 weeks.

Vacation at the Lake

Unlike the past two years where we've tried to have an extended vacation at "The Lake," this year it actually happened.  Normally we'll spend about half of our summer weekend there, but this year we actually got to spend a week there for vacation.  Since it is a major part of the summer, I thought I'd share a few thoughts and pictures.

As seen, the cottage lies on the Eastern edge of Cayuga Lake, so in favorable weather we are treated to beautiful sunsets.  Something I've learned is the idea that no sunset is ever the same.  Having the opportunity to watch it in the same place day-after-day and year-after-year, I thought it would grow boring.  But in fact, it has turned into a favorite time of mine.  People slow down and watch the gradual change of colors in the sky, on the lake, and in the clouds.  Since the sky is different everyday, the sunset is unique as well; it is always enjoyable and is a different form of worship that I've grown accustomed to.

When you pull up to the property though, this is what you first see.  You can see the lake in back.  Although some might consider the cottage rustic, I think it's the perfect blend of modern comfort and a place to escape.  We have running water and electricity, but no cable or internet.  Cell phone reception is, at best, spotty.  In a time where culture values constant connectivity, this is place a get-away to enjoy NOT being connected.  We also have a DVD player hooked up to a small TV set, that gets used when its too rainy to play outside or start a bonfire.

After walking through a hallway, you come to a very open room.  We make and eat (and digest) our meals here.  During vacation, Andrea and Grandma (who lives here throughout summer) took turns making meals.  During the weekend though, food prep rotates amongst the different members of the family who choose to spend the weekend.  Not only am I blessed with a beautiful location to spend the summer, but everyone in Andrea's maternal side of the family are excellent cooks and bakers.  There is always a plethora of snacks and healthy dinners.

In any given weekend, the front porch is where the business is happening.  People pass the time by chatting, reading magazines, playing board games or lawn games, or sunbathing.  Although ladderball has been the game of choice for many years, this year someone bought Corn-Hole, and has become this year's favorite.  This is also where I grilled food for the first time, so this place also has special manly significance.

I believe that Cayuga is the longest and deepest lake of all the Finger Lakes.  This makes it the ideal for boating and swimming.  Although most of the adults don't swim unless it's really hot, I try to take advantage of the water as much as possible.  We have a small motorboat to go tubing with as well as paddleboat for shorter distances.  (Grandma in particular likes using paddleboat before the sunsets to watch all wildlife settle down in the evening.)  But mainly, I just really enjoy swimming and goofing off in the water.

One topic of conversation Andrea and I had last week was how much of a blessing the lake and cottage is to us.  Before meeting Andrea, I didn't have anything like this growing up, so I certainly envy the fact that she has enjoyed this since before she could remember.  Now that I've married into the blessing, I'm reminded how much God has needlessly given me.  And although the sights, recreation, and food blessings are something to be thankful for, I think it's best function has been simply to serve as a place for retreat and escape.

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part III

Part I: The Announcement
Part II: It's a Girl

Half way through the pregnancy!  Only three things I want to cover this time through.

1.  To my delight, I got a few responses to this statement I made in part II:

As for myself, I'm definitely not as excited as Andrea, but I think that just stems from not knowing what a girl actually does.  I mean, I know it plays with dolls, has tea parties, likes shopping and all of that stuff.  But when it comes to the daily life of a girl, I don't really know how it's different than being a boy.  That part makes me a bit nervous.  Good thing I still have another five months to figure it out.

To my delight, two friends shared with me part of their childhood by telling me what they enjoyed when they were young girls.  The list included blocks, musical instruments, crayons, books, music, cars, Ninja Turtles, playing with caterpillars, and digging in the sand.  I was pleasantly surprised and grateful to be revealed to such exclusive information, especially the part about blocks.  I grew up an only child and Legos were a constant companion of my imagination.  Of course, I was also told there was also dolls and stuffed animals, but I was expecting that already.

So thanks for sharing!  If anyone has anything else they'd like to share about what they did as a girl or a young teenage girl, I'd love to hear it.

2.  Something that's been confusing me is that a lot of people have expressed immense amounts of joy and excitement upon discovering that we're having a girl.  I'm wondering if this is a reaction to knowing the gender or if they genuinely wanted us to have a girl more than a boy.  At the very least it would be interesting to see if people's reactions would have been any different if we were having a boy instead of a girl.  Hmm...

3.  Andrea has finally gotten her pregnancy blog up-and-going.  Although she probably won't update as much as I do, you can keep track of her progress both visually and through writing HERE.  It's also connected to her photography website as well so if you you're feeling generous you can buy a few Fine Art prints as well.  :)

If you're in a hurry though and just want a picture, here she is at 21-weeks to close us out.

It's crazy to see how fast her tummy has grown
in these last few weeks!

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part II

To the day, Andrea is now 19 weeks pregnant - well into the second trimester.  After a stressful beginning, everything has been going tremendously well since last I wrote five weeks ago.  One thing that Andrea has been doing is track her progress visually through a series of pictures.  Here she is at 16 weeks.

Once Andrea gets the series posted on her picture blog, I'll provide a link for everyone.  In the meantime, you'll have to deal with my blabbering.

Last Tuesday, we went to Andrea's 18-week check-up.  The visit as a whole was delightful and encouraging since Baby and Mommy are completely healthy.  To our surprise, we found out that Baby is growing at about one or two days ahead of schedule, which means the due date is now being pushed up a few days.  Interesting fact about due dates - there are a few different ways to measure the length of a pregnancy.  So depending on whose date you go with, Baby is expected now between December 8 and December 13.

Another something we found out was that Baby is a girl!  Turns out that when you're looking at ultrasounds, determining gender pretty much boils down to the question, "Does it have male parts?"  The ultrasound technician, who claims she has never misdiagnosed a gender, said that clearly our child is missing male parts, so it must be a girl.  Here are some pictures to prove it:

Did you know that hospitals have 3D ultrasound now?

Between seeing the technician and doctor, Andrea and I had to sit in the waiting room.  While looking at their beautiful salt-water fish tank, it finally hit me.  I'm going to be a father.  Before knowing the gender, I had a tough time understanding the gravity of it all.   Internally, I had been playing this "what if" game where I could envision what the child would do, how it would grow up, and what life it was going to have, as I'm sure most first-time parents do - but there was always two different "stories" playing in my head.  But knowing knowing the gender has prompted me to stop thinking about the child as an idea, and start thinking about it as a reality.  It's hard to explain, but it's definitely one of the more pivotal moments thus far

 

Baby is looking right at you in this picture. 
You can see it's developing skull and hands really well.

As for our reaction on Baby being a girl, Andrea and I were just as excited about it either way.  Andrea actually thought she was carrying a boy the entire time, but was just as excited to find out it was a girl.  As for myself, I'm definitely not as excited as Andrea, but I think that just stems from not knowing what a girl actually does.  I mean, I know it plays with dolls, has tea parties, likes shopping and all of that stuff.  But when it comes to the daily life of a girl, I don't really know how it's different than being a boy.  That part makes me a bit nervous.  Good thing I still have another five months to figure it out.

Nice profile picture.  The nose and jawline are very well defined here.
I think this is where she was hiccuping as well.

The time between 14-19 weeks marks a number of important milestones.  The baby is measured about six inches and can perform intricate movements due to the brain, nerves and muscles being better connected.  This was apparent during the ultrasound.  Last time we saw it was just moving her legs, but now she can "swim" away so that the ultrasound technician has to play a chase game with her.  Because our baby is a girl, her ovaries (already) contain all of her 3 million egg cells, which will last the rest of her life.  (This means Andrea is also carrying half of her grandchildren from this child as well!)  Additionally, Baby can also distinguish between sweet and bitter flavors inside the amniotic fluid.

The Four Loves: The Much Beloved Exploration of the Nature of Love

This is actually my second time reading through The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.  The first time was when I was a sophomore in college – almost six years ago.  I was a rather young Christian back then, so giving this another read through was in order.  But from what I did remember was that the word “love” is a complicated and weighty word, especially in the English language.  Whereas some languages or cultures have different words for different types of love, we do not benefit from such a system.  In that way, our language is inefficient and misleading.  Today, we practically classify any positive feeling under the banner of love, when in fact, we should take caution to dissect and understand what this word is really means in today’s culture and society.

In the introduction, Lewis first takes time to divide the word Love into Need-Love and Gift-Love.  This important distinction is the first of many that builds the framework for the rest of the book.  And though Lewis acknowledges a hierarchy of loves through the book, he also recognizes that “the highest does not stand without the lowest.”  This reoccurring claim points to an important conclusion that all four types of love are necessary, and deeper into the text it becomes obvious that it is rare for any of the four loves to exist in complete isolation.

Although The Four Loves is an insightful and challenging read, I’m just as sure that it will be pleasurable and therapeutic.  Personally, I enjoyed the chapter on Friendship; I have always had a fondness of cultivating meaningful friendships.  However, I feel in the minority compared to American society.  Lewis explains that Friendship includes all who have a common interest, but must exclude those who do not.  And in any culture that demands universal acceptance, the idea of exclusion is a frightening and dangerous one.

After his first two introductory chapters, Lewis spends the last four chapters on each of the four loves: Affection, Friendship (Philia), Romantic (Eros), then Charity.  I won’t bother to explain any of them in depth, as I’m sure of my inability to give Lewis’ work proper justice.  You should read it for yourself.

Before closing out, here is one of my favorite sections:

There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Like I said before, this is a challenging read but also very warming.  I’m aware that my above reflections of The Four Loves may not be fully indicative of that, but it truly is.  There are so many little nuggets of wisdom and understanding that it is certainly worth a few hours of your time.  This short book is a staple of any reader’s library and an essential for the intellectual Christian.  You will not be disappointed.

Bacon Rating: 4.5 out of 5

  

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part I

This upcoming Tuesday, Andrea will be 14-weeks pregnant; that means our due date will be December 13.  However, the idea of me being a father hasn't quite set-in yet.  That's mostly due to the fact that Andrea has been sick and through some trying complications up to this point.  I'm sure as the summer progresses, I'll start to realize it.  But right now, I'd honestly admit that I'm feeling pretty oblivious to stark realization that I'll be a father by the end of the year.

The first ultrasound - 8 weeks

 I've been reading a week-by-week pregnancy book that tells you everything you would want to know about pregnancy and more.  It's been really helpful in understanding what the baby (as well as Andrea) is going through on a regular basis.  At 8 weeks, most of its organs are formed, but its heart is external but functioning.  Sometime between the 8th and 10th weeks, the baby will absorb the heart.

The second ultrasound - 11 weeks

At 10-11 weeks, the baby is fully formed, including heart, brain, spinal cord and genitalia.  Although determining the gender is still nearly impossible.  From this point on, the only thing the baby has to do is grow!  An aside about this picture, the baby was actually break dancing in this picture.  It was very excited to be seen.) 

The third ultrasound - 13 weeks

The 13th week is the gateway into the second trimester.  The placenta is now fully formed and the baby is starting to "drink" the fluid inside.  Unlike last time, the baby was very shy and lounging.  Sometimes by this time a gender can be determined, but it isn't usually very reliable.  

By the time of our next scan (in about a month), the baby's eyes will develop sensitivity to light, it's arms and legs will be nearly proportional to its torso and head, and will start growing its first hair and fat cells (to keep it warm).

Christian Teachers in Public Schools

Something that I've been thinking about all year is what it means to be a Christian teacher in a public school.  One day, early in the school year, I discovered and met with the Bible Club that gathers every morning before school.  A few days later, I talked to one of the student leaders of the club and discovered that I was the first staff member to ever show up to one of their meetings.  The reason though was not because of my ambition to know who the Christian students were in my school.  Instead, I have come to realize there are policies against Christian teachers leading students in a religious setting on school grounds.  Unfortunately, I have realized that my association with this group in any spiritual way is a danger to my employment.  And because it only takes one accusation - from staff or student - it's better to keep my distance at this time, then it is to risk and lose any influence I might have made.  Needless to stay, this decision is crushing to me as a Christian.  "With no interaction with like-minded believers," I thought, "how can this school be transformed for the better?"  (Although I believe this might be a violation of my First Amendment rights, this is not the focus of this entry.)

Yet, as I am closing out my first full year of teaching in a public school, God has still been faithful to show me that I can still impact lives in a way that honors Him.  I have made every effort to demonstrate myself as an educator that students can learn from, trust, be seen as fair, and allow them to be young adults.  In situations where I am required to be a teacher, I carry out those duties as I have been employed to do.  But when students are looking for a friend, a role-model, or a mentor, I able to adjust into that role, and actually prefer this over teaching.  Although I value mathematics and analytical thinking, I value real relationships much more.  So at this time of year, it goes without saying that I have forged many healthy, positive and God-honoring relationships with a handful of my students.  And I believe those relationships exist because students have taken the time to have conversations with me outside their class period and have recognized that something different.  I am not sure if it is availability to teach them math, or interest in their personal lives.  But whatever the reason, I pray for two specific things.  First, I pray that students ask for the reason why I am different.  Secondly, I pray for the courage and confidence to tell them, "I live like this because I believe in a God that loves His people; my love for you is a reflection of His love for me."

Honest, agape, unconditional love is rarely found in public schools because it is also rarely found at home.  Although this is a stark and dark reality, when I am able to practice unconditional love and service, it is undeniably labeled as supernatural in the students' eyes.  As a Christian teacher, I pray that I can use this for Christ's gain.  And when I do manage to serve my students with that intense honesty and selfless love, they will have no choice to but to see the sacrifice and love of Jesus through those actions.

Hooray for 100 Entires and Long-Weekends!

-ONE-

Although Kellie has a much more impressive (and longer) blogging record.  This is my 100th blog entry, which I'm pretty sure is the longest personal recording of events I've ever kept.  Personally, this piece about Lain's Cider Mill is my favorite, followed by my book review on the Boy who Harnessed the Wind, which you really should read if you haven't yet.

-TWO-

I'm very thankful for the four-day weekend that Vestal gave us this year.  Getting long(er) weekends off from school puts everyone in a good mood...

-THREE-

...But just like last time both Andrea and I are sick.  I have no idea what either of us have this time around.  Although it mocks a sinus or allergy type feeling, it's too late in the year for either one of us.  Andrea got a bonus sore throat, and I got a bonus of fluid-in-the-ears.  Today is the first day that looks normal in any way, shape or form.  Hopefully by the end of the weekend, both of us will be healthy and order restored.

-FOUR-

When Memorial Day has come and gone, it'll mean 11 more days of classes at the high school.  Graduation isn't until June 23, but my duties and obligations significantly taper off starting June 13.  I'm not exactly sure how it changes, but any change that involves changing your outfit from business casual to shorts and a t-shirt is alright by me.

-FIVE-

Here's a link to a infographic that has been circulating lately.  Apparently most people are born in the months of July, August and September.  My birth date (January 19) is in the less common areas.  When I saw this, Andrea and I probably spent about 20 minutes talking about it.  Fun statistical fact: In a room of 23 people, you have a 50% chance that two people will share the same birthday.

-SIX-

Since getting Netflix, Andrea and I have been enjoying a new library of movies.  However, my students have been pleading with me all year to watch "Doctor Who."  So far, each episode has been better than the one before it, so thumbs up so far on the show.  I recommend it to anyone who likes British and/or science fiction genres.

-SEVEN-

Here's some Lecrae to take us through the long weekend.  Enjoy!

For more takes - see Anne's "boring" ones, or Jen.

Quick Updates

I swear I haven't forgotten about blogging.  Here are a few quick updates...

1.  As this school year is winding down, I'm already starting to think about how to improve on ideas from this year.  I know I've learned a lot about teaching, and am starting to realize that teachers who stand out above the rest have to take risks and break the typical teaching mold.  If I challenge myself to do these two things on a regular basis, I believe that next year can be just as exciting as this year.

2.  I've already had several opportunities to ride my bike this spring.  With my grandma getting older, I have the perfect excuse to hop on my bike every week to take care of her yard work.  Once mid-June comes around, here's to hoping for good weather all the way through August!

3.  If you know of any one who has property for rent in the Binghamton area, Andrea and I are looking to move into a bigger home.  We do like our apartment, but we are looking to upgrade to something a bit larger.  We can't buy because my job is still a bit unreliable from year-to-year, and I still have some student loans I'd like to rid myself of.

4.  Music...

A Fast One before Heading Out

Thought I'd write a quick one before...

... heading off to Vestal's Junior Prom.  I agreed to help maintain the adult to student ratio tonight as a bunch of 16- and 17-year-old students dance the night away.  Should be interesting to watch the theatrics from the other side of things.  I'm praying there aren't any alcoholic incidents

The trip to Indiana was as relaxing as always.  Not going to write a huge journalistic piece like last time because most of the time was spent relaxing, walking outside and enjoying the company of friends.  Biggest highlight was the return to the farmer's market.

School takes on a different feel when you know there are only 40 class days left.  With another week gone, we're down to 35.  Before too long, it'll be summer vacation and I can hardly wait.

Concerning hockey - and it is quite concerning right now - Pittsburgh dropped the first three games of their opening round to dig themselves in a 0-3 hole.  However, the team has responded with some resiliency with two consecutive wins.  However, I'm still a bit fearful because Philadelphia only has to win one more game to eliminate my beloved Penguins, and we still have to win two more games in the same amount of time.  I'm also very perturbed on how much unnecessary violence and aggression that seems to be happening lately.  My team has certainly been part of the problem, and I hope has the playoffs advance the amount of self-control rises.

All of these deserves it's own post, but I just don't have the time right now.  I'll try to get back on a blogging schedule this week.

God bless.

7 Takes during Lent Edition

Haven't done one of these in a while.

-ONE-

Although far from perfect, I have been doing fairly well in keeping with my Lenten vows.  Since the start of Lent, I have completed a read through of Genesis and Job.  I've already wrote a reflective piece on Genesis that you can read here if you want.  Since I just finished Job today, you'll probably see a piece on that coming shortly.

-TWO-

Last Saturday, I put air in my tires and went out on a 40 minute bike ride and covered 8.5 miles.  What a wonderful feeling to get out and exercise!  Unfortunately, I'll be bringing my bike to the shop tomorrow because of a recall about a part that holds the wheel on.  Here's to hoping they don't keep it before the next patch of beautiful weather.

-THREE-

At the very least, it's been interesting to monitor the changes I have in teaching my math classes.  Over the course of the year, I've probably changed all my daily routines and policies about three times.  I know that's not desirable, but I just don't like the idea of waiting until next year to change it.  What if that's no good, too?  I definitely know that all my classes are better now than they were in September and October.  But I have to commend my students for being so tolerant and flexible regarding my rookie-teacher-like-ways.

-FOUR-

Since I've already shamelessly promoted myself in this post, I might as well do it again.  Here's an educational rant that anyone in public education should check out.  In fact, even if you aren't you should know where your tax dollars are going anyways.

-FIVE-

I've been enjoying the run that the Penguins have been making.  Although the last handful of games haven't been anything to write home about, their impressive 11-game win streak contained some of the best NHL level hockey I have seen from this team since the cup run in 2009.  I'm looking forward to seeing them do exceptionally well in the playoffs.

-SIX-

I realized that I haven't read any books in a long time and I hope to change that this summer.  Although I'm not interested in obtaining a copy now, it would be nice to take a shot at the "Tim Keller Marriage Book" everyone at the church talks about periodically.  If anyone is done with their copy by June, do you think I could borrow it for a month or two?

-SEVEN-

If anyone reading this wins that half-billion Mega Millions jackpot tonight, I wouldn't mind if you slipped me just enough to pay off my student loans.  And just for the record, I'd barely call that greed; it will only be about  0.012% of your total winnings.  kthxbye.

For more takes, see Anne or Jen.

Slowing Down Students for the Right Reasons

Last week I was given a rare opportunity to talk with J, a student who has been a blessing to me all year.  Here's a few things you should know about J first through.  J is in the lowest-level math class that the school offers.  Contrary to the other students in the class, J seems to flourish in every topic I've covered this year.  Up until a little while ago, I saw a student who wasn't being challenged, which in turn made me feel as though I wasn't giving them the education they deserved.  So in the feeling of regret, I started to plan a way for J to take the Algebra regents in January as opposed to waiting another full year.

But during that conversation last week, J said things like "glad to take this course," and, "a lot more confident in math now."  Now that's music to a math teachers ears!  As I may have mentioned here before, mathematics is topic where you need a mastery on previous material before moving onward.  Clearly J was put in the right course at the right time and getting an opportunity to gain full confidence and mastery in the basics of math is invaluable.  Few students in public school can honestly say that they have more confidence at the end of the year than when class began.

So this makes me start thinking of the idea of No Child Left Behind.  Since NCLB, the trend in education has been to push the student up to the next grade, regardless of the means.  Of course, that wasn't its theoretical design, but that's how it is practiced.  To have J retained for one year in mathematics is going to have a payoff in the years to come.  It's dangerous to write legislation that applies to all people, and even more so when it applies to children and education.  When we fail to see children as individuals in both ability and character, there is going to be times where we be doing them a disservice.  At this point, it's a hope and prayer that we can understand that it is alright for some students to learn at a slower place as long as it is for the right reasons.  Just as much as the bright students deserved to be challenged at a level that fits their pace, students who haven't been given the same privileges and advantages should be offered the same.  And those decisions can be made in confidence when staff and parents are able to work together.  If the nation is going to depend on the public school system for their main facet of education, then we better prepare ourselves to tackle these (and much bigger) challenges with open minds and creative solutions that doesn't treat the students as yearly batches educational products.

Music Mondays

Relient K - The Last, the Lost, the Least

Live a life of privilege, 

pushing back the last, the lost, the least of these

To dull the edge of conscience with conceit

Live a life and see the world

Feel its weight on the shoulders of the least of these
It spins and twirls without rest or relief

We all, we all wear dignity

It covers the strong, the weak

We all, we all wear dignity

Even the last, the lost, the least

Step into a spacious place

Where pride and right will give way to the least of these

To know the face of a who a man can be

His image shown

When we give our lives, our time, our own

To feed, to clothe those in His image we have left alone

We all, we all wear dignity

God help the blind like me

Finding at last a voice we cry

And see with clear, unblinking eyes

Music Mondays

Red - Pieces

I'm here again, a thousand miles away from You

A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am

I tried so hard, thought I could do this on my own

I've lost so much along the way

Then I see Your face, I know I'm finally Yours

I find everything I thought I lost before

You call my name, I come to You in pieces

So You can make me whole

I've come undone

But You make sense of who I am

Like puzzle pieces in Your hand

I tried so hard

This Week in Mr. Kovac's Classroom...

Actually, most of my progress this week was made outside the classroom.  I finally got an opportunity to share with (all) my colleagues the education website Khan Academy.  To keep it brief, this tool can single-handedly turn around math education as we know it.  If you're home schooling, an elementary or an upper level math teacher, you should really out this site.  If you want to know more information about it, contact me and I'll give you a brief summary on how it works.

But what I really wanted to do today is write some quotes I got from this week.

When writing corrections on a math quiz, D writes:
"I forgot to simplify the fraction, thus my answer did not conform to the established mathematical standards of notation and simplification."

Also:  While on hall duty, M and her male friend F sit next to me.
Me: What are you doing this weekend M?
M: I'm going tanning.  Oh! Mr. Kovac you should go tanning with me!
-- I shoot M a terrified and awkward face --
F: I don't think Mr. Kovac's wife would like that.


Oh, there is no place like public schools.

Thoughts on the Patriarchs

My Lenten practice has now brought me to the end of Genesis, and I thought this might be an appropriate time to share some thoughts I had.  When I study the Bible, I tend to more attention to people than I do events.  So it was surprising to me that the Patriarchs of the Bible, who are usually credited as righteous and holy people, have a wide range of faults and sins.  In this way, the men of faith who came after them as well as the Christians of today, have something very much in common with the Patriarchs of old.

Adam, though perfectly provided for in every way by God himself was tricked into believing that he wanted more than what was given to him.

Cain, the first offspring of Adam, burned with jealously and murdered his own brother, Abel.

Abraham was impatient and basically sold his wife as a prostitute (twice) to save himself from being persecuted, despite being given God's protection and blessing.  In a later instance, a domestic dispute between his wife Sarah and her maidservant, Hagar, forces a division between Abraham's two sons, Ishmael and Isaac.

Jacob was a manipulator (and borderline cheater when it comes to Esau's inheritance).  Furthermore, he was unable to deal with conflict among his wives, as well as his children.

Although I know this might cause people to stumble for a multitude for reasons.  But keep in mind that no man in the history of The Faith has ever been considered "good" or "righteous" or "holy" based on their own merit.  All these wrongful actions and character flaws developed when the said person decided to go against God's instruction and guidance.  The writer of Genesis (Moses) made this point very clear throughout this book of the Bible.  If it was worth covering up or getting rid of these events, they would have been eliminated.  But as Christians should know, this has to be known part of our history; anyone who leaves God to follow their own way is sowing the seed of sin and destruction.  Not even the "mighty and important" Patriarchs of the Bible were immune to this truth.  The sinful nature of man is contrasted to that of the actions and words of Jesus in the New Testament.  Without this very obvious illustration of man's brokenness do we see how praiseworthy Jesus becomes. 

Music Mondays

Everyday Sunday - Stand Up

Chorus:

I will stand up now

I will not step down

I will do my best to wear this crown

but I need You as You guide me through today

You wake up out of bed

Walk out of your castle, and then you life up your head

When will you wake up and see

it takes more than just you to get through this life?

Going around the town, maybe someone had brought him down

Different maybe, not the same, everyone thinks

He's going out there now

And all the things he has found

Everything he has is You

No more holding back as the crowd looks from afar

Everything he has is You

The Darkest Timeline

Maybe it's because I'm taking Lent more seriously than I ever have, but my attitude and disposition towards life has been rather depressed and pessimistic. Personally, this week was fraught with bad news and crummy circumstances, some of which I don't feel comfortable sharing.  But as to not keep all things in the dark, I'll expose those I can so that they may be prayed for accordingly.

Knowing that Elisabeth would be next week to go to Mississippi, Andrea and I hosted a dinner before our routine Wednesday night Bible study.  The food, the company, and the study was great, but the harsh reality of knowing that we were losing a strong, Christian woman to another place is still difficult for me to handle.  From when we first met during my senior year at college (2003), Elisabeth has been a blessing and also like a younger sister to me.  When she started living in Binghamton again after finishing college, our bond grew stronger and culminated this summer when I was teaching her how to drive.  So, for the next nine months, Elisabeth will be working with AmeriCorps to refine her carpentry skills in Mississippi.  Know full well, that I'll be waiting for her latest blog entry in The Sunshine Chronicles, and you can too, as it has been added to my blogroll on the right sidebar.

All local school districts are losing revenue and are searching for ways to close the gap.  To do so, a school needs to make sound financial decisions as well as the confidence of their taxpayers.  So, it should come to little surprise that job cuts are in the cards; it's just a matter of how many and in what departments.  Considering that I am the newest employee, I'm might be first on the chopping block.

This is the way the system has worked for years, and regardless how well a teacher does their job, when it comes to cuts, it's a hierarchy based on seniority.  If you're looking a major reason why the quality of education has been suffering over the past two decades (and especially in New York), look no further than how schools choose their educators.  If schools are looking to update and stay current with education and technology trends, then why would a school layoff those newest in the field.  Although expertise should not be thrown away at first conflict, a system to distinguish better teachers from worse ones needs to be brought into public schools.  And this system should not be dependent on years of service or age.

The last snippet of depressing news I've heard has been out of our local paper.  Two stories, released then than 24-hours apart, announced the cutting of over 100 jobs in the Binghamton area.  For those unfamiliar with the history of Binghamton and the economy, this is the last thing we need.  Between the downturn of the economy and the recent flooding (both 2006 and 2011), the economic prosperity in Binghamton is going from bad to worse.  This local region that I call my city is in a lot of need financially, but also physically and spiritually.  Although the cost of living here is low, I begin to question how many more blows can we take before move and leave Binghamton completely?

The title for the blog is pulled from a clip of the show "Community."  I haven't seen many episodes, but it looks rather entertaining.