Although it's difficult to precisely know when Baby will be among us, it is certain that in about a month from now our family will increase by one. The anticipation of a newborn has definitely presented life with a new and exciting kind of spice. All thoughts are of the future, thinking about the impending delivery date and the days to follow. Where will we be when contractions start? How will the baby be delivered? How long will we be at the hospital? How many days of school do I get to miss? When will we be able to come home? The questions are overwhelming, but the answers will come before long.
As might be expected from someone who enjoys and teaches math, all this mystery and excitement isn't without it's fair share of frustration. I like to know, predict and analyze things. I want to have a plan, work through the plan, and complete the plan as expected. But babies, I've learned, aren't predictable. In the early months before we knew Baby's gender, it was difficult to even view myself as a parent. But when that summer morning in July came around and I saw her on the ultrasound, it quickly became tangible for me. And then soon afterward, a nervous about having a girl. Today, I'm comfortable knowing that we'll be raising a little girl, but now I'm more nervous about being a good parent. I know I've been blessed by people's love, support and encouragement; it's wonderful to have family and friends come together to help Andrea and I receive this baby into the world. However, I'm not naive enough to forget that I am a creature who sins and makes mistakes. No parent is perfect, and I will make mistakes. I just have to rely and trust that God knows that I am ready to be a father.
Spiritually, I haven't thought much about Baby yet. Most of my thoughts are looking forward to the typical baby landmarks. But once the baby is born and we return to church with our daughter in tow, I pray that God will begin to turn my thoughts toward being a better husband who serves his wife, and a father who can raise a daughter that fully understands the riches that Christ has to offer her. I must remind myself that before I even knew Baby, God has already loved her perfectly.
Here are some of the drawing/prints Andrea made that are hanging around the nursery:
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