The Four Loves: The Much Beloved Exploration of the Nature of Love

This is actually my second time reading through The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.  The first time was when I was a sophomore in college – almost six years ago.  I was a rather young Christian back then, so giving this another read through was in order.  But from what I did remember was that the word “love” is a complicated and weighty word, especially in the English language.  Whereas some languages or cultures have different words for different types of love, we do not benefit from such a system.  In that way, our language is inefficient and misleading.  Today, we practically classify any positive feeling under the banner of love, when in fact, we should take caution to dissect and understand what this word is really means in today’s culture and society.

In the introduction, Lewis first takes time to divide the word Love into Need-Love and Gift-Love.  This important distinction is the first of many that builds the framework for the rest of the book.  And though Lewis acknowledges a hierarchy of loves through the book, he also recognizes that “the highest does not stand without the lowest.”  This reoccurring claim points to an important conclusion that all four types of love are necessary, and deeper into the text it becomes obvious that it is rare for any of the four loves to exist in complete isolation.

Although The Four Loves is an insightful and challenging read, I’m just as sure that it will be pleasurable and therapeutic.  Personally, I enjoyed the chapter on Friendship; I have always had a fondness of cultivating meaningful friendships.  However, I feel in the minority compared to American society.  Lewis explains that Friendship includes all who have a common interest, but must exclude those who do not.  And in any culture that demands universal acceptance, the idea of exclusion is a frightening and dangerous one.

After his first two introductory chapters, Lewis spends the last four chapters on each of the four loves: Affection, Friendship (Philia), Romantic (Eros), then Charity.  I won’t bother to explain any of them in depth, as I’m sure of my inability to give Lewis’ work proper justice.  You should read it for yourself.

Before closing out, here is one of my favorite sections:

There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Like I said before, this is a challenging read but also very warming.  I’m aware that my above reflections of The Four Loves may not be fully indicative of that, but it truly is.  There are so many little nuggets of wisdom and understanding that it is certainly worth a few hours of your time.  This short book is a staple of any reader’s library and an essential for the intellectual Christian.  You will not be disappointed.

Bacon Rating: 4.5 out of 5

  

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part I

This upcoming Tuesday, Andrea will be 14-weeks pregnant; that means our due date will be December 13.  However, the idea of me being a father hasn't quite set-in yet.  That's mostly due to the fact that Andrea has been sick and through some trying complications up to this point.  I'm sure as the summer progresses, I'll start to realize it.  But right now, I'd honestly admit that I'm feeling pretty oblivious to stark realization that I'll be a father by the end of the year.

The first ultrasound - 8 weeks

 I've been reading a week-by-week pregnancy book that tells you everything you would want to know about pregnancy and more.  It's been really helpful in understanding what the baby (as well as Andrea) is going through on a regular basis.  At 8 weeks, most of its organs are formed, but its heart is external but functioning.  Sometime between the 8th and 10th weeks, the baby will absorb the heart.

The second ultrasound - 11 weeks

At 10-11 weeks, the baby is fully formed, including heart, brain, spinal cord and genitalia.  Although determining the gender is still nearly impossible.  From this point on, the only thing the baby has to do is grow!  An aside about this picture, the baby was actually break dancing in this picture.  It was very excited to be seen.) 

The third ultrasound - 13 weeks

The 13th week is the gateway into the second trimester.  The placenta is now fully formed and the baby is starting to "drink" the fluid inside.  Unlike last time, the baby was very shy and lounging.  Sometimes by this time a gender can be determined, but it isn't usually very reliable.  

By the time of our next scan (in about a month), the baby's eyes will develop sensitivity to light, it's arms and legs will be nearly proportional to its torso and head, and will start growing its first hair and fat cells (to keep it warm).

Christian Teachers in Public Schools

Something that I've been thinking about all year is what it means to be a Christian teacher in a public school.  One day, early in the school year, I discovered and met with the Bible Club that gathers every morning before school.  A few days later, I talked to one of the student leaders of the club and discovered that I was the first staff member to ever show up to one of their meetings.  The reason though was not because of my ambition to know who the Christian students were in my school.  Instead, I have come to realize there are policies against Christian teachers leading students in a religious setting on school grounds.  Unfortunately, I have realized that my association with this group in any spiritual way is a danger to my employment.  And because it only takes one accusation - from staff or student - it's better to keep my distance at this time, then it is to risk and lose any influence I might have made.  Needless to stay, this decision is crushing to me as a Christian.  "With no interaction with like-minded believers," I thought, "how can this school be transformed for the better?"  (Although I believe this might be a violation of my First Amendment rights, this is not the focus of this entry.)

Yet, as I am closing out my first full year of teaching in a public school, God has still been faithful to show me that I can still impact lives in a way that honors Him.  I have made every effort to demonstrate myself as an educator that students can learn from, trust, be seen as fair, and allow them to be young adults.  In situations where I am required to be a teacher, I carry out those duties as I have been employed to do.  But when students are looking for a friend, a role-model, or a mentor, I able to adjust into that role, and actually prefer this over teaching.  Although I value mathematics and analytical thinking, I value real relationships much more.  So at this time of year, it goes without saying that I have forged many healthy, positive and God-honoring relationships with a handful of my students.  And I believe those relationships exist because students have taken the time to have conversations with me outside their class period and have recognized that something different.  I am not sure if it is availability to teach them math, or interest in their personal lives.  But whatever the reason, I pray for two specific things.  First, I pray that students ask for the reason why I am different.  Secondly, I pray for the courage and confidence to tell them, "I live like this because I believe in a God that loves His people; my love for you is a reflection of His love for me."

Honest, agape, unconditional love is rarely found in public schools because it is also rarely found at home.  Although this is a stark and dark reality, when I am able to practice unconditional love and service, it is undeniably labeled as supernatural in the students' eyes.  As a Christian teacher, I pray that I can use this for Christ's gain.  And when I do manage to serve my students with that intense honesty and selfless love, they will have no choice to but to see the sacrifice and love of Jesus through those actions.

Hooray for 100 Entires and Long-Weekends!

-ONE-

Although Kellie has a much more impressive (and longer) blogging record.  This is my 100th blog entry, which I'm pretty sure is the longest personal recording of events I've ever kept.  Personally, this piece about Lain's Cider Mill is my favorite, followed by my book review on the Boy who Harnessed the Wind, which you really should read if you haven't yet.

-TWO-

I'm very thankful for the four-day weekend that Vestal gave us this year.  Getting long(er) weekends off from school puts everyone in a good mood...

-THREE-

...But just like last time both Andrea and I are sick.  I have no idea what either of us have this time around.  Although it mocks a sinus or allergy type feeling, it's too late in the year for either one of us.  Andrea got a bonus sore throat, and I got a bonus of fluid-in-the-ears.  Today is the first day that looks normal in any way, shape or form.  Hopefully by the end of the weekend, both of us will be healthy and order restored.

-FOUR-

When Memorial Day has come and gone, it'll mean 11 more days of classes at the high school.  Graduation isn't until June 23, but my duties and obligations significantly taper off starting June 13.  I'm not exactly sure how it changes, but any change that involves changing your outfit from business casual to shorts and a t-shirt is alright by me.

-FIVE-

Here's a link to a infographic that has been circulating lately.  Apparently most people are born in the months of July, August and September.  My birth date (January 19) is in the less common areas.  When I saw this, Andrea and I probably spent about 20 minutes talking about it.  Fun statistical fact: In a room of 23 people, you have a 50% chance that two people will share the same birthday.

-SIX-

Since getting Netflix, Andrea and I have been enjoying a new library of movies.  However, my students have been pleading with me all year to watch "Doctor Who."  So far, each episode has been better than the one before it, so thumbs up so far on the show.  I recommend it to anyone who likes British and/or science fiction genres.

-SEVEN-

Here's some Lecrae to take us through the long weekend.  Enjoy!

For more takes - see Anne's "boring" ones, or Jen.

Quick Updates

I swear I haven't forgotten about blogging.  Here are a few quick updates...

1.  As this school year is winding down, I'm already starting to think about how to improve on ideas from this year.  I know I've learned a lot about teaching, and am starting to realize that teachers who stand out above the rest have to take risks and break the typical teaching mold.  If I challenge myself to do these two things on a regular basis, I believe that next year can be just as exciting as this year.

2.  I've already had several opportunities to ride my bike this spring.  With my grandma getting older, I have the perfect excuse to hop on my bike every week to take care of her yard work.  Once mid-June comes around, here's to hoping for good weather all the way through August!

3.  If you know of any one who has property for rent in the Binghamton area, Andrea and I are looking to move into a bigger home.  We do like our apartment, but we are looking to upgrade to something a bit larger.  We can't buy because my job is still a bit unreliable from year-to-year, and I still have some student loans I'd like to rid myself of.

4.  Music...