Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part III

Part I: The Announcement
Part II: It's a Girl

Half way through the pregnancy!  Only three things I want to cover this time through.

1.  To my delight, I got a few responses to this statement I made in part II:

As for myself, I'm definitely not as excited as Andrea, but I think that just stems from not knowing what a girl actually does.  I mean, I know it plays with dolls, has tea parties, likes shopping and all of that stuff.  But when it comes to the daily life of a girl, I don't really know how it's different than being a boy.  That part makes me a bit nervous.  Good thing I still have another five months to figure it out.

To my delight, two friends shared with me part of their childhood by telling me what they enjoyed when they were young girls.  The list included blocks, musical instruments, crayons, books, music, cars, Ninja Turtles, playing with caterpillars, and digging in the sand.  I was pleasantly surprised and grateful to be revealed to such exclusive information, especially the part about blocks.  I grew up an only child and Legos were a constant companion of my imagination.  Of course, I was also told there was also dolls and stuffed animals, but I was expecting that already.

So thanks for sharing!  If anyone has anything else they'd like to share about what they did as a girl or a young teenage girl, I'd love to hear it.

2.  Something that's been confusing me is that a lot of people have expressed immense amounts of joy and excitement upon discovering that we're having a girl.  I'm wondering if this is a reaction to knowing the gender or if they genuinely wanted us to have a girl more than a boy.  At the very least it would be interesting to see if people's reactions would have been any different if we were having a boy instead of a girl.  Hmm...

3.  Andrea has finally gotten her pregnancy blog up-and-going.  Although she probably won't update as much as I do, you can keep track of her progress both visually and through writing HERE.  It's also connected to her photography website as well so if you you're feeling generous you can buy a few Fine Art prints as well.  :)

If you're in a hurry though and just want a picture, here she is at 21-weeks to close us out.

It's crazy to see how fast her tummy has grown
in these last few weeks!

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part II

To the day, Andrea is now 19 weeks pregnant - well into the second trimester.  After a stressful beginning, everything has been going tremendously well since last I wrote five weeks ago.  One thing that Andrea has been doing is track her progress visually through a series of pictures.  Here she is at 16 weeks.

Once Andrea gets the series posted on her picture blog, I'll provide a link for everyone.  In the meantime, you'll have to deal with my blabbering.

Last Tuesday, we went to Andrea's 18-week check-up.  The visit as a whole was delightful and encouraging since Baby and Mommy are completely healthy.  To our surprise, we found out that Baby is growing at about one or two days ahead of schedule, which means the due date is now being pushed up a few days.  Interesting fact about due dates - there are a few different ways to measure the length of a pregnancy.  So depending on whose date you go with, Baby is expected now between December 8 and December 13.

Another something we found out was that Baby is a girl!  Turns out that when you're looking at ultrasounds, determining gender pretty much boils down to the question, "Does it have male parts?"  The ultrasound technician, who claims she has never misdiagnosed a gender, said that clearly our child is missing male parts, so it must be a girl.  Here are some pictures to prove it:

Did you know that hospitals have 3D ultrasound now?

Between seeing the technician and doctor, Andrea and I had to sit in the waiting room.  While looking at their beautiful salt-water fish tank, it finally hit me.  I'm going to be a father.  Before knowing the gender, I had a tough time understanding the gravity of it all.   Internally, I had been playing this "what if" game where I could envision what the child would do, how it would grow up, and what life it was going to have, as I'm sure most first-time parents do - but there was always two different "stories" playing in my head.  But knowing knowing the gender has prompted me to stop thinking about the child as an idea, and start thinking about it as a reality.  It's hard to explain, but it's definitely one of the more pivotal moments thus far

 

Baby is looking right at you in this picture. 
You can see it's developing skull and hands really well.

As for our reaction on Baby being a girl, Andrea and I were just as excited about it either way.  Andrea actually thought she was carrying a boy the entire time, but was just as excited to find out it was a girl.  As for myself, I'm definitely not as excited as Andrea, but I think that just stems from not knowing what a girl actually does.  I mean, I know it plays with dolls, has tea parties, likes shopping and all of that stuff.  But when it comes to the daily life of a girl, I don't really know how it's different than being a boy.  That part makes me a bit nervous.  Good thing I still have another five months to figure it out.

Nice profile picture.  The nose and jawline are very well defined here.
I think this is where she was hiccuping as well.

The time between 14-19 weeks marks a number of important milestones.  The baby is measured about six inches and can perform intricate movements due to the brain, nerves and muscles being better connected.  This was apparent during the ultrasound.  Last time we saw it was just moving her legs, but now she can "swim" away so that the ultrasound technician has to play a chase game with her.  Because our baby is a girl, her ovaries (already) contain all of her 3 million egg cells, which will last the rest of her life.  (This means Andrea is also carrying half of her grandchildren from this child as well!)  Additionally, Baby can also distinguish between sweet and bitter flavors inside the amniotic fluid.

The Four Loves: The Much Beloved Exploration of the Nature of Love

This is actually my second time reading through The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.  The first time was when I was a sophomore in college – almost six years ago.  I was a rather young Christian back then, so giving this another read through was in order.  But from what I did remember was that the word “love” is a complicated and weighty word, especially in the English language.  Whereas some languages or cultures have different words for different types of love, we do not benefit from such a system.  In that way, our language is inefficient and misleading.  Today, we practically classify any positive feeling under the banner of love, when in fact, we should take caution to dissect and understand what this word is really means in today’s culture and society.

In the introduction, Lewis first takes time to divide the word Love into Need-Love and Gift-Love.  This important distinction is the first of many that builds the framework for the rest of the book.  And though Lewis acknowledges a hierarchy of loves through the book, he also recognizes that “the highest does not stand without the lowest.”  This reoccurring claim points to an important conclusion that all four types of love are necessary, and deeper into the text it becomes obvious that it is rare for any of the four loves to exist in complete isolation.

Although The Four Loves is an insightful and challenging read, I’m just as sure that it will be pleasurable and therapeutic.  Personally, I enjoyed the chapter on Friendship; I have always had a fondness of cultivating meaningful friendships.  However, I feel in the minority compared to American society.  Lewis explains that Friendship includes all who have a common interest, but must exclude those who do not.  And in any culture that demands universal acceptance, the idea of exclusion is a frightening and dangerous one.

After his first two introductory chapters, Lewis spends the last four chapters on each of the four loves: Affection, Friendship (Philia), Romantic (Eros), then Charity.  I won’t bother to explain any of them in depth, as I’m sure of my inability to give Lewis’ work proper justice.  You should read it for yourself.

Before closing out, here is one of my favorite sections:

There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Like I said before, this is a challenging read but also very warming.  I’m aware that my above reflections of The Four Loves may not be fully indicative of that, but it truly is.  There are so many little nuggets of wisdom and understanding that it is certainly worth a few hours of your time.  This short book is a staple of any reader’s library and an essential for the intellectual Christian.  You will not be disappointed.

Bacon Rating: 4.5 out of 5

  

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be: Part I

This upcoming Tuesday, Andrea will be 14-weeks pregnant; that means our due date will be December 13.  However, the idea of me being a father hasn't quite set-in yet.  That's mostly due to the fact that Andrea has been sick and through some trying complications up to this point.  I'm sure as the summer progresses, I'll start to realize it.  But right now, I'd honestly admit that I'm feeling pretty oblivious to stark realization that I'll be a father by the end of the year.

The first ultrasound - 8 weeks

 I've been reading a week-by-week pregnancy book that tells you everything you would want to know about pregnancy and more.  It's been really helpful in understanding what the baby (as well as Andrea) is going through on a regular basis.  At 8 weeks, most of its organs are formed, but its heart is external but functioning.  Sometime between the 8th and 10th weeks, the baby will absorb the heart.

The second ultrasound - 11 weeks

At 10-11 weeks, the baby is fully formed, including heart, brain, spinal cord and genitalia.  Although determining the gender is still nearly impossible.  From this point on, the only thing the baby has to do is grow!  An aside about this picture, the baby was actually break dancing in this picture.  It was very excited to be seen.) 

The third ultrasound - 13 weeks

The 13th week is the gateway into the second trimester.  The placenta is now fully formed and the baby is starting to "drink" the fluid inside.  Unlike last time, the baby was very shy and lounging.  Sometimes by this time a gender can be determined, but it isn't usually very reliable.  

By the time of our next scan (in about a month), the baby's eyes will develop sensitivity to light, it's arms and legs will be nearly proportional to its torso and head, and will start growing its first hair and fat cells (to keep it warm).

Christian Teachers in Public Schools

Something that I've been thinking about all year is what it means to be a Christian teacher in a public school.  One day, early in the school year, I discovered and met with the Bible Club that gathers every morning before school.  A few days later, I talked to one of the student leaders of the club and discovered that I was the first staff member to ever show up to one of their meetings.  The reason though was not because of my ambition to know who the Christian students were in my school.  Instead, I have come to realize there are policies against Christian teachers leading students in a religious setting on school grounds.  Unfortunately, I have realized that my association with this group in any spiritual way is a danger to my employment.  And because it only takes one accusation - from staff or student - it's better to keep my distance at this time, then it is to risk and lose any influence I might have made.  Needless to stay, this decision is crushing to me as a Christian.  "With no interaction with like-minded believers," I thought, "how can this school be transformed for the better?"  (Although I believe this might be a violation of my First Amendment rights, this is not the focus of this entry.)

Yet, as I am closing out my first full year of teaching in a public school, God has still been faithful to show me that I can still impact lives in a way that honors Him.  I have made every effort to demonstrate myself as an educator that students can learn from, trust, be seen as fair, and allow them to be young adults.  In situations where I am required to be a teacher, I carry out those duties as I have been employed to do.  But when students are looking for a friend, a role-model, or a mentor, I able to adjust into that role, and actually prefer this over teaching.  Although I value mathematics and analytical thinking, I value real relationships much more.  So at this time of year, it goes without saying that I have forged many healthy, positive and God-honoring relationships with a handful of my students.  And I believe those relationships exist because students have taken the time to have conversations with me outside their class period and have recognized that something different.  I am not sure if it is availability to teach them math, or interest in their personal lives.  But whatever the reason, I pray for two specific things.  First, I pray that students ask for the reason why I am different.  Secondly, I pray for the courage and confidence to tell them, "I live like this because I believe in a God that loves His people; my love for you is a reflection of His love for me."

Honest, agape, unconditional love is rarely found in public schools because it is also rarely found at home.  Although this is a stark and dark reality, when I am able to practice unconditional love and service, it is undeniably labeled as supernatural in the students' eyes.  As a Christian teacher, I pray that I can use this for Christ's gain.  And when I do manage to serve my students with that intense honesty and selfless love, they will have no choice to but to see the sacrifice and love of Jesus through those actions.