Yikes! It's been too long since I last posted here. A large part of that has been due to some tendinitis or something like it that prevents the motion of my right wrist, especially in typing. However, its starting to recede, so I'm coming back to blog.
The past few weeks have been full of stress for me. Especially earlier this month, I have been striving and trying so hard to gain employment, only to fall flat on my face with every attempt. It seems with every week I'd have a new lead, and by the next week's end, it dissolved.
Currently, I have only one shot left - a private middle school in the Corning, NY area. From what I've gathered, it sounds like a wonderful teaching opportunity. However, I'm going through the motions with a heavy heart because if I am employed, it would mean relocating. When I first moved into Binghamton for grad school, I had every intention of leaving as soon as possible. Good Shepherd has seriously got my reconsidering that notion. Slowly but surely, I've begun really enjoying my time at the Church of the Good Shepherd, and especially the people in it. But on the other hand, Andrea and I are looking for some financial stability and right now this might be our only option. As a responsible Christ Follower, I will be trying my hardest to get this job, and I will assume if the door of opportunity closes, then it is meant to be. June 11 can't come quick enough.
Completely unrelated is what's happening - and soon not to be happening - on Facebook. What started off as one of my many rants in my living room, has now turned into a 200+ people movement to go one week without Facebook. Kellie and I put together an event that has gone somewhat viral across the New York State interwebs and beyond. Why the protest against Facebook? To put it simply, I'm upset with their privacy policies (even though they just changed them back again, kinda) and the amount of self-worship that is posted on a daily basis. Personally, I have been longing on Facebook far too often, and I need to break the habit, and this will be a great way to start. Don't worry if you're looking to know about my convictions, I'll probably share my ideas in depth about Facebook later this week while I'm not on it.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Tale of Two Classrooms
I finally decided to "man-up" and sub for two different BOCES assignments this week. The experiences were like night and day. For those unaware of BOCES, they are a state-run organization that supplies alternative education for special education, vocational and behaviorally-challenged students outside the traditional public school settings. Some of the above students fit into multiple categories.
On Monday, I drew the assignment that dealt with students with (major) discipline and behavior problems. If you're looking for a happy ending to this story, you aren't getting one - it was as bad as it sounds. Most of these middle school students, I fear, are heading straight on a path to gang activity, sex, drugs, and ultimately jail, if they haven't started already. They cared little for authority or homework, they overreacted to every unfavorable stimulus, and dropped f-bombs and the word that rhymes with "witch" almost three times every sentence. I came in expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. At the end of the day, I was rather emotionally and spiritually without hope. As much as I prayed silently for these students, I still couldn't see them in God's grace. And this depresses me greatly. As an Christ-Following educator, I do not like to see poor, unpriviledged children stacking the deck against them - yet there was nothing I could do to stop them. In fact, the path they choose is destruction on purpose as if there was no other way. They come from broken homes and no alternatives. The fact that these children are bused to these type of schools with children like themselves, only places them deeper into a cycle that merits pity and frustration.
Another argument I had was that as a substitute teacher in a new place for the first time, I was given minimal support and necessary information by the staff and faculty, barring one period where the dean helped me maintain order in my classroom. If they are aware (and they are) about the difficulty I am walking into, why didn't they equip me about simple things like me being able to send students out of my classroom or calling in a hall monitor? In some cases I blame the staff for the students no-hope attitude, because that was the gist of what I got from them while I was there. If the teachers do not believe in the students, then teenage students certainly aren't going to muster of the drive to succeed in anything academic.
Bottom line, I did not like it. Mentally, I understand that the Holy Spirit which dwells in me demands me to practice grace and mercy, yet in my heart, I find it difficult to help those who won't listen to me. I am currently unsure if I will return to these types of schools again to sub.
Today however, I worked in a different division of BOCES; namely, I was a special education teacher of children with autism. Although I worked with only six students all day, I found it incredibly fulfilling to work with them, despite their many disabilities. It made me recall my weeks at Delta Lake working with developmentally disabled adults. Although I usually speak poorly of the way I was treated by my own spiritual brothers and sisters, my time there has payed me back many time over already. God has filled me with incredible compassion and patience for these students. Unlike the children mentioned above, these students do not have the choice (most of the time) on how they are going to act. Yet, most of my interactions with them were met with smiles on my end - even if they weren't paying attention when I was reading the caterpillar book.
My aides were helpful and informative - they wanted to be there and during behavioral breakouts they showed a tremendous display or patience. I was throughly impressed; they made my job easy.
Regardless how many more times I will sub for BOCES this year, I am thankful I had both of these situations, because I strongly feel I have grown from each one in different ways. But give me Harpursville any day.
On Monday, I drew the assignment that dealt with students with (major) discipline and behavior problems. If you're looking for a happy ending to this story, you aren't getting one - it was as bad as it sounds. Most of these middle school students, I fear, are heading straight on a path to gang activity, sex, drugs, and ultimately jail, if they haven't started already. They cared little for authority or homework, they overreacted to every unfavorable stimulus, and dropped f-bombs and the word that rhymes with "witch" almost three times every sentence. I came in expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. At the end of the day, I was rather emotionally and spiritually without hope. As much as I prayed silently for these students, I still couldn't see them in God's grace. And this depresses me greatly. As an Christ-Following educator, I do not like to see poor, unpriviledged children stacking the deck against them - yet there was nothing I could do to stop them. In fact, the path they choose is destruction on purpose as if there was no other way. They come from broken homes and no alternatives. The fact that these children are bused to these type of schools with children like themselves, only places them deeper into a cycle that merits pity and frustration.
Another argument I had was that as a substitute teacher in a new place for the first time, I was given minimal support and necessary information by the staff and faculty, barring one period where the dean helped me maintain order in my classroom. If they are aware (and they are) about the difficulty I am walking into, why didn't they equip me about simple things like me being able to send students out of my classroom or calling in a hall monitor? In some cases I blame the staff for the students no-hope attitude, because that was the gist of what I got from them while I was there. If the teachers do not believe in the students, then teenage students certainly aren't going to muster of the drive to succeed in anything academic.
Bottom line, I did not like it. Mentally, I understand that the Holy Spirit which dwells in me demands me to practice grace and mercy, yet in my heart, I find it difficult to help those who won't listen to me. I am currently unsure if I will return to these types of schools again to sub.
Today however, I worked in a different division of BOCES; namely, I was a special education teacher of children with autism. Although I worked with only six students all day, I found it incredibly fulfilling to work with them, despite their many disabilities. It made me recall my weeks at Delta Lake working with developmentally disabled adults. Although I usually speak poorly of the way I was treated by my own spiritual brothers and sisters, my time there has payed me back many time over already. God has filled me with incredible compassion and patience for these students. Unlike the children mentioned above, these students do not have the choice (most of the time) on how they are going to act. Yet, most of my interactions with them were met with smiles on my end - even if they weren't paying attention when I was reading the caterpillar book.
My aides were helpful and informative - they wanted to be there and during behavioral breakouts they showed a tremendous display or patience. I was throughly impressed; they made my job easy.
Regardless how many more times I will sub for BOCES this year, I am thankful I had both of these situations, because I strongly feel I have grown from each one in different ways. But give me Harpursville any day.
Kellie's 25th, 18 Theses and Facebook
Had every intention to write in the past two days but simply haven't had the chance.
Saturday we celebrated Kellie's 25th birthday with desserts and games. Tom made the trip down from Lyons to visit for the night and even stayed for church the next morning. Although I really enjoy the online study we do, I would very much enjoy having another, and especially close, male friend around here in Binghamton if I end up staying here with employment. It has been long talked about between Kellie and myself about writing something to Tom explaining why he should move into the area if given the opportunity. I figured Sunday was a good time to do that. So I spent a good chunk of my Sunday afternoon writing the most legalistic document I could showing him how serious we are about getting him down. The document is called "18 Theses." We patiently await his (favorable) answer.
Also, I am increasingly getting sick and tired of Facebook's antics to sell off information. Before my junior year of college, I was adamantly against Facebook and it's contraptions. In the matter of four years it has become progressively more annoying and compromising. The revelation of the "app" has destroyed Facebook and I strongly dislike their changing policies on privacy and information format (how you put in things you like). Also also, I see Facebook becoming much like what MySpace used to be - a place to toot your own horn. With the advent of new communicating technology, the best thing we can do with it is tell people how great we are; if it isn't clear, I am not for self-promotion. Over the past month or so, I have strongly considered deleting my Facebook account, however I hesitate for really only one reason: r2r. Because Facebook is a social hub, my best efforts spread the gospel and encourage current believers is through that blog. I don't know if people really read it or not, so perhaps I am worrying over nothing regarding it. But what if people do read it but never comment? I simply don't have any better outlet than that.
Kellie and I are forming a group urging people to take a break or leave from Facebook in order that people remove themselves from their self-centered and self-serving habits and do something productive in their (spiritual) lives. In addition to the group, there is also going to be an event urging people to not log on Facebook in any way, shape or form, to see if they realize they have been missing something. As a result from that group, I almost surely see myself spending significantly less time on Facebook. Perhaps during that time away, I will realize some alternative way to broadcast r2r.
Saturday we celebrated Kellie's 25th birthday with desserts and games. Tom made the trip down from Lyons to visit for the night and even stayed for church the next morning. Although I really enjoy the online study we do, I would very much enjoy having another, and especially close, male friend around here in Binghamton if I end up staying here with employment. It has been long talked about between Kellie and myself about writing something to Tom explaining why he should move into the area if given the opportunity. I figured Sunday was a good time to do that. So I spent a good chunk of my Sunday afternoon writing the most legalistic document I could showing him how serious we are about getting him down. The document is called "18 Theses." We patiently await his (favorable) answer.
Also, I am increasingly getting sick and tired of Facebook's antics to sell off information. Before my junior year of college, I was adamantly against Facebook and it's contraptions. In the matter of four years it has become progressively more annoying and compromising. The revelation of the "app" has destroyed Facebook and I strongly dislike their changing policies on privacy and information format (how you put in things you like). Also also, I see Facebook becoming much like what MySpace used to be - a place to toot your own horn. With the advent of new communicating technology, the best thing we can do with it is tell people how great we are; if it isn't clear, I am not for self-promotion. Over the past month or so, I have strongly considered deleting my Facebook account, however I hesitate for really only one reason: r2r. Because Facebook is a social hub, my best efforts spread the gospel and encourage current believers is through that blog. I don't know if people really read it or not, so perhaps I am worrying over nothing regarding it. But what if people do read it but never comment? I simply don't have any better outlet than that.
Kellie and I are forming a group urging people to take a break or leave from Facebook in order that people remove themselves from their self-centered and self-serving habits and do something productive in their (spiritual) lives. In addition to the group, there is also going to be an event urging people to not log on Facebook in any way, shape or form, to see if they realize they have been missing something. As a result from that group, I almost surely see myself spending significantly less time on Facebook. Perhaps during that time away, I will realize some alternative way to broadcast r2r.
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