What's that Ruckus: #3

Even though most people (and fellow Christ Followers) haven't heard or don't approve of Christian rap, I found in incredibly profound when it's done right.  So, I've selected two songs from Lecrae's album "Rebel" that I think most Christ Followers will be moved by. I cleaned up the lyrics so they are readable by the common reader, so I hope you enjoy the efforts doing that because it wasn't easy.  If rap isn't your thing, please don't pass over this blog.  Just read the lyrics for now, however, I really encourage you to give each of these songs a try.  You might be surprised.

Lecrae - DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE

[Hook]

Don't wanna waste my life

I know a lot of people out there scared they gone die

Couple of em thinking they'll be living in the sky

But while I'm here living, man, I gotta ask why, what am here for I gotta figure out

"Waste my life?" No. I gotta make it count

If Christ is real then what am I gone do about

All of the things in Luke 12:15 down to 21

You really oughta go and check it out

Paul said if Christ ain't resurrected then we wasted our lives

Well that implies that our life's built around Jesus being alive

Everyday I'm living trying show the world why

Christ is more than everything you'll ever try

Better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any women and men that you admire

Ain't no lie, we created for Him

Outta the dust he made us for Him

Elects us and he saves us for Him

Jesus comes and raises for Him

Magnify the Father, why bother with something lesser

He made us so we could bless Him

And to the world we confess him, resurrects him

So I know I got life

Matter fact better man I know I got Christ

If you don't' see His ways in my days and nights

You can hit my brakes you can stop my lights

Man, I lost my rights, lost my life

Forget the money cars and toss that ice

The cost is Christ

And they could never offer me anything on the planet that'll cost that price.

Armed and dangerous, so the devil just can't handle us

Christian youth them a stand with us

Living and driven, given a vision

Fullfilling the commission he handed us

London to Los Angeles, the rap evangelist

Ma daddy wouldn't abandon us

"I gotta back pack fulla tracts plus I keep a Johnny Mac"

So are you ready to jam with us, so let's go

gimme the word an let's go

Persecution let's go

Tribulation let's go

Across the nation let's go

Procrastination best go

Hung on the cross in the cold

Died for the young and the old

Can't say you never know

Heaven knows

How many souls are going to hell or to heaven

So we gotta go in and get em

Suffer, yeah do it for Christ

If you trying to figure what to do with your life

If you making money, hope you doing it right

Because the money is God's you better steward it right

Stay focused if you ain't got no ride

Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive,

The clothes you wear, the job you work,

The color your skin, naw, we Christian first

People living life for a job

Make a lil money start living for a car

Get em a house a wife kids and a dog

When they retire they living high on the hog

But guess what they didn't ever really live at all

To live is Christ yeah that's Paul I recall

To die is gain so for Christ we give it all

He's the treasure you'll find in the mall

Your money, your singleness, marriage, talent, your time

They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine

That's why it's Christ in my rhymes

That's why it's Christ all the time

My whole world is built around him, He's the life in my lines

I refused to waste my life

He's too true to chase that ice

Here's my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ

If he's truly raised to life, then this news should change your life

And by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights.

Lecrae - DESPERATE

[Hook]

I'm so desperate, I can't believe I've sinned against You

Create in me a clean heart (I'm so sorry)

Your mercy is what I need

Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed

Can't stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head

Feel like a disappointment, like the scum of the earth

I'm so hurt I know You see, I can't cover my dirt

My souls dying hearts weak and I can't even cry

I'm sposed to run to You but why, I'm such an evil guy

The sun's shining but for me it's the darkest of days

Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains

I leave the house, it feels like everybody knows I did it

Feels like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed

Through your blood I'm acquitted, but my heart doesnt get it

Oh God, I'm desperate for help cause I'm grieving your Spirit

I couldn't sing in the Sunday service, Lord I felt fake

And when they started communion I just made an escape

I'm in need of Your grace, Feels like you hid Your face

Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased

I'm waste deep in my pity, is Satan trying trick me

And tell me You won't forgive me cause it's starting to get me

Jesus help me quickly, I hate wrong I've done

I know we all fall but I feel like the only one

Feels like I should be shunned, should I punish myself

I know it's dumb cause by Your death all my sin has been dealt

But my sin is been felt, I didn't want to do it

But what I want to do I don't, I swear I'm going through it

Try to open my Bible, I need to read Your pages

I need you Lord but my guilt has got me feeling so faithless

Help me see where grace is, take me back to the basics

Help me find my joy in You, and not people and places

My sin is ever before me, I turned my back on You

Oh Father, break and restore me to bring me back to You

Have mercy on me God according to Your steady love

Wipe away my transgressions and wash me in Your blood

Create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit

Don't hide your face from me God, Your Presence, keep me near it

I'm waiting patient on You ,Lord, I know You hear my cry

Restore Your joy in me, for You alone I live and die

It's You I glorify cause You don't want my sacrifice

You want me broken and contrite trusting in the Christ

I confess to You my sin and you show me mercy

I turn away from it demonstrating that You are worthy

Over lust, over pride, over all sin

Is my affection for Jesus is who died for all them

I was lost, now I'm found, I was toss to the ground

My sin weighed on me heavy but I am no longer bound

As sure as Christ wears the crown, I know that grace will abound

And even when I feel lost, I know in You I am found

7 Quick Takes: 2011 #3

-ONE-

Those who are familiar and/or sensitive to good teaching know when you have learned something and enjoyed yourself while doing it.  Yesterday, I had my first notable class session where I saw students smiling, nodding their heads in approval and actually laughing at my jokes.  And this was a statistics class of all types!  Looking forward to more of these days.

-TWO-

Also went back to sub-teaching this week where I returned to a previous assignment that I had visited this year.  Although these particular students are double disadvantaged by being severely autistic and coming from difficult home lives, I could see a maturity and growth that wasn't there a few months ago.  I'm unsure what happens in that classroom most days, but whatever is going on, I could see a good change happening in those four walls.

-THREE-

As of right now, I'm scheduled to teach a section of math at BCC during the summer.  Although I will never take the registration sheets for granted again, I'm hopeful that I won't have depend on Craigslist this summer for teaching experience and employment.  I also was able to talk to the department chair that if I stick around for one more year, they will have to grant me an interview for when an opening does come around.

-FOUR-

Since we're on the theme of employment and optimism, let me crush both hopes right here and mention that there will be fewer teaching openings this year than last year.  I will be looking at public school employment this Spring, but I'll tell you right now that I also filled out the forms necessary to teach at BCC again next fall.  I refuse to put all my eggs in one basket.

-FIVE-

In lighter news, I've been usually looking forward to this weekend.  Tonight, I'll be attending a birthday party of a good friend.  Tomorrow, I plan on a quiet afternoon of lesson plans and a bit of fun.  On Sunday, Andrea and I will be spending another dinner (this time for my recently-passed birthday) and watching the NHL All-Star game.  Can't complain much about that.

-SIX-

Looking forward to filing taxes this season.  No, I'm serious.  My cousin told me that if all the interest off loans can be written off against my taxable income straight up.  "Lo and Behold!" on Line 33 holds my taxation salvation.  I have plenty of student loans and plenty of interest paid this year.  Next year is looking pretty good too.  If you haven't downloaded the forms or instruction booklet, do it and stop waiting until April 15.

-SEVEN-

I've been generally dissatisfied and have found myself (again) logging onto Facebook too often.  So I'm planning on limiting my visits during the month of February.  Hopefully that will straight the ship.  I'll still post blog updates and write messages when  necessary, but if something is urgent, best consider something else.

If you're craving the takes, Jen is your gal.

What's that Ruckus? #2

No lengthy introductions or personal thoughts this time.  These couple of songs from The Rocket Summer's album "Of Men and Angels" has been akin to "music therapy" for me over the last week or two.

The Rocket Summer - WALLS

The story of my life I can't quite comprehend.
Don't tell me if you know how it ends.
When everywhere you go feels like a mirror maze,
And you're not sure how you're stuck in this place

PRE-CHORUS:

And you got nowhere else to go and you're lost within your own home,
And you're trying so hard to win, you keep trying, it's embarrassing.
And how you don't even know, but you know you're off the tracks.
And how did you get in here? Thinking how did I get in here?

CHORUS:
I'll help you break the walls down.
I'll help you break the walls down.
Bust you out, and take you home,
Believe you me you are not alone,
I'll help you break the walls down.

Does anybody know where February went?
I was hoping that by not it would be the end of this:
When you open up a book and read a thousand lines,
But you don't really read you just move your eyes.

PRE-CHORUS

CHORUS

And I know this is random but just this morning I saw
The sun reflecting off the lawn and window,
Oh, I don't know why, but I thought you should know.

PRE-CHORUS

CHORUS

And all the weight you carry will disappear

And I will willingly embrace you

So you lay your head.
So come on home, come on home, come on home.

The Rocket Summer - LIGHT

All I needed was a light in the darkest place
I've ever been in all my life as I try to find my way
And the changing seasons of my life and my eyes don't see
The things I love have run their course 

Are they done? Are they just beginning?

CHORUS:

And I'm old enough to know that time doesn't move slow enough
And young enough to know that I can't ever be too old enough to trust you
Higher and higher
I wanna go there with you
Some say your fire, your fire is through
And I don't wanna think that way

So you lost your job or lost the girl and you crushed your soul
And now you're standing at a new painful fork in the road
So you wet your finger, hold it up
But there's no wind there telling you where you where you should go
So you try, try to trust while you bear it

CHORUS

I am Yours, do what You wish
I am Yours, I am Yours and I know this
Whatever happens next is in Your hands, in Your plans, nothing less
Every day there is a choice and through the joy, through the pain I will rejoice
I am Yours, do what You wish
I am Yours, I am Yours and I know this

Save me because I need it
And I can't help but feel desperate
When my desires they seem are coming to their endings
But I will trust 

It's not the end, but a great beginning 

7 Quick Takes: 2011 #2

-ONE-

After a long season of not teaching, I'm finally back at BCC teaching just the statistics class.  Unfortunately, the second section never worked out so I'll be heavily working the sub-teaching circuit until June.  I have also landed myself a tutoring gig for the immediate future.  Things aren't looking as bad as they did last week.

-TWO-

Because of the not-so-desirable circumstances, the events surrounding my birthday wasn't as exciting as I wish they were.  However, that is not to say I haven't seen the blessings.  Thank you to everyone who wrote on my Facebook wall and special thanks to those who brought bacon treats to my house on Wednesday.  (I'm looking at you Kellie; the bacon-wrapped crackers get better every time I eat it.)

-THREE-

I decided to change up my Mission Group at the church this week my writing my own questions.  It was fun and exciting to do, not to mention it reminds me of my old Alfred days.  If you want the questions, I'll be posting them up every week that I do them over at r2r, so you can view them there.

-FOUR-

I haven't updated everyone about my Sunday school class in awhile.  God has really blessed me through them.  Even though I dread getting up a bit earlier on Sunday, somewhere between enter the church and walking into the classroom, God changes my entire state of mind.  I hope I have blessed the children as much as they have blessed me.  We're currently trudging our way through the Old Testament and will be finishing Joshua this week.

-FIVE-

I'm not one to really talk about the weather, but its been a bit snowy here lately.  Its not that I mind shoveling and salting the doorway and sidewalk, but with gas pricing creeping up a few cents everyday I am getting that much more eager to start riding my bike that I got for Christmas.  Waiting is always the hardest part.

-SIX-

Since Christmas, I've been listening to a lot of new music.  Expect to see some music-themed bloggings over the next few weeks.  Its been a real encouragement to me.

-SEVEN-

And a congratulations to Adam and Anna on officially starting to date.  While I'm at it, I should also mention that I completely neglected for months Becca and David dating relationship on here.  If you see either couple, be sure encourage them daily to live a healthy, spiritually sound and God-glorifying relationship.  From experience, I know that being close to friend who were close to God made my relationship with Andrea much easier and put us on a very good path.

Want more takes?  See Jen.

Valleys

Last week was incredibly difficult for me on a lot of levels.  Although I wish I could fully share everything that is going on, sometimes its better to keep somethings on the DL.  Maybe there will be a day where I can express everything that has been challenging me this week, but that just simply isn't going to happen today.

On Thursday, I lost one of my two classes at BCC was taken away because of poor enrollment elsewhere.  When I found out, I was really devastated and I'm to some degree I still am.  Having a second section was not only more income, but an indicator that my teaching was considered quality enough to be more teaching responsibility as an adjunct professor.  Also, I have been trying to attend meetings and do things outside of my teaching requirements.  Because I know that odds are against me, I'm still doing everything I can to show that I'm serious about wanting to have a full-time job in teaching at BCC.  A caveat though, I got an e-mail on Saturday morning telling me "a situation is developing" that might get me back the class I lost, but a different section.   I'll find out tomorrow.

Some of my friends are going through ridiculously difficult seasons of their life.  And it seems like everyone else is having a number complicated struggles as well.  When you thrive as a community, you also tend to get hurt as a community as well.  Seeing so much need has been a "downer" at the very least for me, but I know its much more painful and challenging for those who are actually dealing with the problems.  Apart from prayer, Andrea and I have been doing our best to reach and comfort those in need, but we are only two people.  I have no idea how widespread this blog is, but if you think you know who some of these people are, I ask for your helping and caring hands to assist in rebuilding the community.

Lastly, it's become official that my mom will be moving to Scranton, PA in March.  I know my mom only has the best intentions in moving closer to me and my grandma - both in Binghamton.  But her frequent visits usually put me on edge and are often times very stressful for everyone involved.  Because I neglected visiting her in Vermont because of the time and distance, I won't have that crutch anymore.  Does this sound like I'm an ungrateful child?

And then there are just some nuances that maybe I'm just more attentive to.  The biggest one of note is that we have a squirrel that has found its way in our bedroom walls and makes quite a racket during the nighttime when we're (trying) to sleep.  Will be calling the landlord about this one.

I know there has been some good news sprinkled around, but I'm not in-tuned enough to remember any.  Sorry.

If you feel lead to pray for my situation, please also pray for my friends and community as well.  We're all equally in need of it as well.