The Secrets of Deck Restoration

When Andrea and I bought our house in June 2015, we were fairly naive about home-ownership.  It's safe to say that most of naivety remains intact.  Although it wasn't the most important selling point, we were told the 620-square-foot, wrap-around deck was "new."  Less than 18 months later, the deck looked like this. 

The astute observer might deduce that these are rotting deck boards about six to eight feet long.  Right (rotting), wrong (deck boards) and wrong (board length).  When most people build a deck, they use deck boards.  Instead, my deck is made from some obscurely dimensioned (and possibly pressure-treated) lumber.  Clearly it wasn't water-proofed; we'll get to the stain later.  Although some boards are appropriately sized from six- to eight-feet, more of them range from 10-14 feet long.

I start ripping up the boards one at a time, and a few are removed with almost no problem.  But the longest boards are half rotten.  So while half of the board is practically disintegrating on one end, the other is tightly fastened with (multiple) nails.  (See side picture of some genius nailing three nails into same spot.)  Fastening with nails is a no-no, because they lack the staying power that screws provide.  In climates like Virginia where the summer gets very hot and humid, decks should not be nailed down, but rather screwed.  During the peak of the summer weather, wooden boards warp and curl, especially the long ones.  Since I don't own a crowbar for removing the boards, I innovated a clever little systems that utilized my car's jack to pop them up from underneath.  It took some time to complete, it was worth not having to run to the store in the middle of a project, considering the nearest hardware store is about a half-hour away.

I was blessed this past Christmas with a circular saw and I finally got to use it for the first time here.  After some careful measurements and a trip to the store, I was excited to purchase, cut and place all the new boards carefully into position with almost no problems - a rare feat and moral victory for an amateur deck restorer.  The only snag was that my drill wasn't powerful enough to pierce through the lumber.  So that required another trip a week later to buy what now become my new favorite tool - an impact driver (drill).  For those uninitiated, it's a glorified drill that also has a pounding feature to help stubborn screws into thick wood.  It harbors no prisoners; a moment of broken focus completely buries the screw into the wood.

The after picture was the state of our deck for about two months.  The rains of Spring came and went, along with the business involved with the end of the school year.  Once I finished all my obligations for school, I patiently waited for a handful of sunny, clear days to lay down the stain.  The time between work also gave me time to research stains.  Another fault in my deck was that transparent stain was previously used.  With the intense amount of sun exposure the deck receives on a daily basis, a transparent stain does little, if anything, to protect the wood.  Multiple sources recommended  a semi-transparent stain, which should reduce the warping and curling of the boards

The weather was beautiful here last week.  It was hot, but not humid; perfect conditions for staining.  After prepping the deck on Monday with a solid wash and sweep, I called over two brothers - both students of mine from Carmel - to help me.  They received their first experience of staining wood, while I benefited from the extra man-power I desperately needed to finish pm time.  After three days of working in the sun and drinking peach tea, I couldn't be more pleased with the result.

As a bonus, I reused all the old boards that weren't rotting out into a raised garden bed.  Check out this resourcefulness!

When Andrea and I staked our two-acre farm land almost two years ago, it was sparse and unappealing.  Although the deck still has it's (many) flaws, it looks and functions better than the day we bought the house.  Andrea has also cultivated quite a green thumb and a passion for gardening and landscaping.  We still have numerous projects to finish before the house will be fully transformed into our home.  But in the meantime, we are so thankful for what we have and that we are closer to finishing than when we first started.  I really find a delight and a peace looking at this every day.

If nothing else, I hope you learned something about deck restoration.

Packing and Cat Videos

With the hope and anticipation of moving in about two weeks, Andrea and I finally buckled down and did some packing today.  Even though we only worked through our bedroom and bathroom, it feels like we got a lot done.  It's amazing how much we stuffed inside our closet!  Looking forward to spreading all that stuff out a bit more when we move into our new place.

While we were working on that, Evelyn was playing with her rainbow rice on the porch unsupervised.  Huge mistake.  She managed to scatter rainbow rice to every single part of the deck, on the deck railings, on the chair, and in between every floorboard.  Basically, it was a rainbow rice explosion.  Looks like I'll be knocking on our downstairs neighbors door tomorrow morning and offer to clean the rice off their deck, too.

Evelyn continues to make her daddy proud with her commitment to swimming.  We really wanted to go down to the pool today because it's been cloudy and "cold" over the last three days.  This afternoon, she made a friend who seemed just a bit older than her - about three years old.  They splashed around and acted like turtles, while Andrea and I sloooowly made our way into the ice cold water.

Something else Evelyn has been committing to lately is watching funny animal videos after bath time.  Usually, she likes watching the cat ones, but she also enjoys the hamsters and dogs also.  Here's her current favorite:

Thoughts on my First Year at Carmel

Looks like I'm going to end the school year the same way I started it - packed-up in boxes.  Don't worry though, I'm not looking for a new job this summer, but rather the school is being renovated.

There were so many great things that happened this year at Carmel, between students, and administrators, and swim team, and the math conference, that it all seems so much like a blur now.  Before it all dissipates into the ether, here's my vain attempt to recall the best thing that happened each month.

August - Less than two weeks in Virgina and I'm sitting the library for a week-long staff orientation and teacher preparation.  Learning all the names and faces of both students and staff was initially overwhelming, but as with any beginning it eventually becomes second nature.  Initially, I intimidated myself of the prospect of teaching sixth graders, thinking I wasn't "qualified" to teach children that young.  As it turns out, they were, consistently, one of strongest classes.  Also, after dodging it for four years, I was forces to teach a high school Geometry class, which was exactly as terrifying as I thought it was for the reasons I thought it would be.

September - I finally have some idea of how my schedule works and I'm into a routine, but because many of my lessons didn't transition well from Vestal, I'm writing 20 lessons a week.  Needless to say, I'm writing all my lessons the night before for the day of.  Not ideal, of course, but a necessary evil of being a "first year teacher."  In addition befriending the History and Spanish/Drama teacher who helped move my stuff, I also start forming awesome working relationships with all the teachers, and a close bond with the middle school English/History teacher, who is also in her first year.

October - Math Conference!  My only professional development of the year was a two-day math conference that was hosted in Richmond Convention Center.  While there I attend over eight one-hour sessions about anything you could possibly know about math education.  Bonus: I find out our Dean of Academics at Carmel is also the organizer of the event and is a highly regarded math guru.  Also of note, I am confirmed of my ability to teach in my first (and only!) observation of the year.  My conference with my administrator is incredibly relaxed and informal.

November - Swimming begins and I pretend to coach a starting squad of about 20 swimmers.  Over the course of the season, only about three or four quit at various points throughout the year.  At this point, 75% of my team can tread water and move around in the pool, but you can barely call it swimming.  Writing lessons is becoming easier, and I start actually noticing the different strengths and personalities of my students in general.  The month ends with a Thanksgiving visit from Andrea's family.

December - Only two weeks of instruction before a week of mid-terms.  I write my first (five) mid-term(s) from scratch, and painfully have to re-write most of them because they were too short.  I make note of this so I don't make the same mistakes in May when I have to write finals.  Unsurprisingly, I enjoy a full two-week break for Christmas, half of which is spent in New York, the other half writing lesson plans.  This finally allows me to write lessons a few days ahead of time for the rest of the year, even if it's only a day or two in advance, it makes my life considerably more enjoyable.

January - Compete in two swim meets almost two weeks apart; swimmers are surprisingly confident despite their obvious nervousness.  They crush it.  Most of them don't disqualify during their events - full turns and starts in all - and some swimmers are actually looking fast in the water.  I also address the student body for the first time in a spiritual context during Chapel.  I get so sick-and-tired of my Algebra 2 curriculum that I trash it and use (altered) lesson plans from Vestal.  Best decision I make all year.

February - Swim season ends, but discover that they won't leave me alone now.  They show up to my room constantly and lovingly annoy me before school, during school, and after school.  My focus now turns back to academics in full.  With extra time, I finally learn how to maximize my free periods (where possible) and really enjoy a month of (relative) normalcy.  Also, didn't have school for a week because it was too cold/snowy.  For NY readers: We had about 12 inches of total snow this winter and the temperature bottomed out in (positive) single digit degrees.

March - After teaching Math 6 through Algebra 2 for almost an entire year, I realize that very similar lessons are taught to different levels - especially Algebra 1, Geometry and Algebra 2.  This saves me from writing entire units, which is great for this year.  But this also upsets me because I feel like if something is taught well, I shouldn't need to teach it again.  I get permission from the Dean to restructure the entire Upper School Math curricular to cut the slack - a process that will probably take about two to three years to complete.  The finished product will be awesome.

April - The air is finally getting warmer and it's clear that the school is in "end-of-the-year" mode.  I go on my first field trip (ever! as a teacher) where I spend most of the time in the medical station with a student who almost passes out (to his credit, it was a rather gory reenactment of a civil war emergency operation).  At the end of the month, a small collection of teachers start meeting every morning in the Commons to watch students - a job that is usually done by only two teachers on a rotating basis.  It becomes the highlight of every one's morning and continues into final exams.

May - Teacher appreciation week was the most phenomenal outpouring of parent-student cooperation that I have ever seen.  I became the life of the sports banquet because of a stupid, dry joke about how the program would have been "sunk" without the help of my assistant.  I learn my lesson from mid-terms and write my final exams extra long with no additional edits.

It was a great year, and I think next one is going to be even better!

Book Review: The Art of War

Thought it would be fun to read this ancient classic of wartime and strategy.  For those unaware, there are many, many different translators of the title, and from what I gathered reading the "expert reviews" on Amazon, no one is seems to be satisfied with any of them.  So instead of making a decision, I just asked for The Art of War for Christmas and let the gift-giver.  On Christmas Day, I ended up with Sun Tzu's "The Art of War: The New Illustrated Edition" translated by Samuel B. Griffith, and I wasn't disappointed.  Griffith clearly spent a good amount of time deeply meditating on the purpose of the text and utilizing previous and the earliest translations by ancient Chinese scholars.

Apart from the beautiful presentation of the book itself (illustrations, silk cover, etc.), Griffith provides a lengthy but engaging introduction that investigates the book's origins, disputed authorship, and description of the era of ancient China that book was written in.  Throughout the text, he relies, refers and comments of other translators where appropriate.  He humbly states agreement when necessary, and provides sound reasons for disagreement, without taking away their respect.  As I was reading, I felt that I was always given a choice to which translation seemed accurate according to the context.  If you are interested in reading a different translation, and want to see the differences between them, here's a website that should help explain them all.  Despite the "odd language choices," I still thoroughly enjoyed his insights, and found it to be a proper blend of traditional and modern language.

As for the text of "The Thirteen Chapters," the proverbial writings are elegantly simple.  Through a general's analysis of justifications of war, ranks and respect, and methods of attack and defense, the written chapters are extremely applicable to those in leadership position.  I've known of translations to be geared towards business, but I could plainly see the teacher-student interaction being emphasized as well.  Really, any superior-subordinate relationship could be strengthened through the principles of discipline and reward written in the Art of War.

It's a short read if you just want to tackle The Art of War itself, but the introduction provided a fuller appreciation of the work as a whole.  The footnotes and additional included commentary added to the experience of reading this treatise for someone who knows very little about ancient China or warfare itself.  It is evident in the translation that Griffith's experience and study of modern military operations has added a unique view of the text.  I'll concede that no translation is perfect, however it is clear that this volume has provided a depth that a discounted version may lack.

Rating: 4 out of 5

    

Pictures from the Holidays 2014

As some of you know, the holidays is especially busy for the Kovac Family.  In a bit over two months, we celebrate Thanksgiving, Andrea's birthday, Evelyn's birthday, Christmas, New Years, our wedding anniversary, and my birthday.  So by the time it's all over, we're happy to have it done with.

Here's some select shots of the holidays... mostly of Evelyn.  Enjoy!

 

And here are some around Christmas time...

Excellence in the Image of God

I felt called to speak to the students about some issues we were having at the school. Here's the notes and outline from it.

Prayer - Middle school student open

Opening Hook - Quiet Reflection

We are a very busy people, and even during the holidays sometimes we barely get a chance to slow down and reflect. I think reflection is a good discipline to help us know ourselves better. So let's take a few minutes to reflect on the first semester.

If you want to, close your eyes and remove the distractions that are around you. And...

take some time to consider what you liked about the last semester... maybe it was a particular class... a grade that you worked hard for... a shared moment between friends... or something in a sport or club that you're involved in

Now take some time to consider what you didn't like about last semester... again it might be a class... an unfortunate family circumstance... a death of a loved one... a situation or decision or words that you wish you could take back

Lastly, think about what you want to see this semester. Is it grades? ... Better relationships with the people around you? ... cultivate a particular skill. ...grow closer to Jesus?


My Reflection

I have been doing a lot of reflection recently, and I want to share with you some of the thoughts that came to mind

(1) Since moving down to Virginia, I have felt welcomed and belonged, especially here at the school. Please don't overlook the idea of belonging matters. When people belong, they might not think anything of it. But when people don't belong, its a struggle and a priority of that person to feel that way. I know both sides of it. At my previous employment, I was mistreated and harassed on a regular basis for nearly two years. Despite the pains and frustrations I experienced with the adults in my building, I continued doing my job well, because I still felt like I belonged when I was with my students. So even though I felt welcomed in the classroom, I didn't feel welcomed at the school - needless to say, it was a very difficult time in my life.

This place through, The Carmel School, is very different. Unlike the school where I came from, this place is a blessing - its a place where all the teachers are staff are passionate about your education and concerned for your souls. So in the moments where you're frustrated about school, or the homework, or that stupid Khan Academy module you can't complete, I hope that you at least remember that you are still in an awesome place where you are able to grow to the potential that God designed you for.. I know for certain that there are many, many, many students who wish they went to school here.

(2) Secondly, I spent a lot of time thinking about all of you. I know that sounds weird, but teachers tend to spend a lot of time thinking about students in a bunch of different ways. Sometimes, we're concerned about how well you understand what we teach in class. And that's important. But just as importantly, we also spend a lot of time thinking about how your interactions - your interactions with us, your interactions with each other, and your interactions with God.

Last semester, there were times where I was deeply concerned about how some of you treat each other. It made me upset and angry to hear some of the words you told or wrote to one another. Like I just explained to you before, one of the reasons why I love this place is because I feel welcomed; and when I hear about these harmful words or mistreatment of each other, I know that this can't possibly be welcoming. Not only does it speak poorly about our character as a student body, but also poorly demonstrates what we're about here at Carmel. Disrespect among the student body is a great concern to me. To be honest, I rather have everyone be treated with integrity, honor and respect before you master any of the procedures and concepts of mathematics. I'm sure the other teachers feel the same regarding their classes. We feel this way because if you can't treat your classmates with respect, it speaks to a deeper, spiritual issue about who you are, and how you value people.

I'm not speaking to call out anyone specifically, but if you feel convicted, that's okay. In my preparation for this, I've felt convicted and I'm convicting myself as I'm speaking to you right now because I know there are days where I'm frustrated by you - days where I wish I'd treated you better. That's the beauty of God's grace - Everyone of us, teachers and students alike, can better our relationships with each other. So please listen to these words today and remember that is not a condemnation or a personal attack. More than anything, this is just something that I wanted to share with you - about my own experiences of being hurt, but also the shame I feel when I've hurt others.

I'm not going to conclude with this though. God already has laid out a plan or our healing and redemption. Here are two things we can do, together as a school...

Call To Action
(1) A great place to start is simply remembering that we are all created in the image of God. I know many, if not all, of you have heard that before, but have you really stopped to think about that? We are made in the image of God. There it is in the very first chapter of the Bible, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness." If we are made in the image of God, then we are unlike the rest of Creation; God was thinking about himself when he made us - our bodies and our minds. We see evidence of this scattered throughout the Bible as well. One of my favorite verses, in Psalm 139, says the same in different words, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." We're wonderfully made, not because or our doing, but because we were made in the image. Another song lyric that encourages me often is this: Worth, value, and beauty is not determined by some innate quality, but by the length for which the owner would go to possess them. If Christ is willing to die to possess us, a broken and hurtful people, think about the great love that God has for us!

It's important to know that you were created excellently because there are dire consequences when mistreat each other. Although we may not mean it directly, we are telling God that we don't value His creation or His image. This is why I believe that an insult, a dis, or a mistreatment, of another human being is such a serious offense. What gives us to right to destroy the image that God Himself has created in each and every one of us here?

So I petition each of you to practice self-control, and particularly over your words. Before you speak in a harsh way to one of your classmates please consider, "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" If it's not all three, then I suggest you reconsider your thoughts. I don't think this is an easy to practice this at first, but nothing worth pursing is every easy at first. A lot of the times, we are all quick to anger and want to defend ourselves in our mistreatment. But I ask you to please resist the temptation to return the trash talk spoken to you. Christ never thought it necessary to call down wrath or insult anyone, even in his own death. Instead he forcefully and actively chose to value the dignity of all people - including his oppressors - over cheap words that taint the image of God.

(2) Some of you already have a better control over their the words and actions. For that, I commend you. You are already a better person in high school, than what I am today. But even so, I still have a charge for you as well. If you witness mistreatment, kindly and gracefully, call it out and restore both classmates to dignity. Consider the following passage that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12: The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Did you catch that at the end? Because we are a body, we either suffer or rejoice together. If we are tearing ourselves down, the entire body suffers and we don't function the way we are intended. Instead of serving the school or the community at large, we are too busy protecting our reputations or worried about who is going to attack us next. Effectively, we won't be able to do anything worth doing; we become all together useless.

I know that I am not alone that I want to see this culture change here at Carmel. I've talked to students who want to see the change as well. We want to be a school where students can valued, respected, and loved in the exact way that Jesus intended. I don't think I'm out of place to say that I speak for all the teachers that we will do our best to ensure this, but we can only do so much. If you want Carmel to be this type of place, the students must be the agents to change. It's up to you, the students, to protect and value each other during your time here.

Closing/Wrap-Up
So as I'm winding down, I want to give you another moment to reflect on the words I've spoken to you today. Although your job is to be diligent students, we all should also strive to make this a place of belonging. Whether you're a male or female, sixth grader or twelfth grader, or anywhere in between, we are all created in the excellent image of God, and that alone should be enough to merit a response of respect.

But also take these last moments to consider a person or people that you know you should be treating better. If there is conflict, disregard who started it - you or them - or even if either one of you can remember. What we need here is healing and reconciliation. Jesus has already righted all the wrongs, and in being in His image, we are called to apologize and forgive. I am not expecting everyone to be best friends with everyone in this school, but you should always be working to be at peace with everyone. Consider an opportunity, a time, or a way to apologize for the way you've acted towards them. Likewise, be open to accept the forgiveness of others who have mistreated you.

Please remember to treat one another with respect, and to defend those who aren't receiving the respect that comes with bearing the image of God. Let's work together to make this the best semester yet.

Closing Prayer - Upper School Student/Teacher

Suggestions Regarding Prayer

Andrea has been editing pictures of Evelyn on the main computer, so y'all going to have to wait a bit longer before I post Christmas pictures.

Preceding New Years, I take a lot of time to reflect on the year's past and what I'd like to see transformed in my life.  Over the past few years, the major change I've wanted to integrate was reading and becoming more familiar with my Bible.  It's taken a lot of time and adjustments, but I've finally found a routine for reading my Bible on a regular basis.  I am not "Reading the Bible in a Year" like I did in previous years, but it's at a decent enough pace for daily reflection and enjoyment.

I would like to do the same regarding my dismal prayer life, which has notoriously been a weaker spiritual discipline of mine since I became a Christian.  It would be super-informative and insightful for me to hear what other people do in their prayer time.  Mention things like time of day, topic/subject matter, and anything else that you have found beneficial and  transforming.

Contact me publicly or privately on this blog, Facebook, or e-mail.

Gainful Employment

Since I haven't updated in over four months, I thought I'd start with the reason why we're in Virginia to begin with... my new job.

From the first day I walked into the building (which also my first day of work - I never visited before accepting the position), I've been treated better than well.  Whether support staff, teacher, or administrator, most everyone is quick to converse and are warmly inviting.  From teaching in a public school in New York to a private Christian school in Virgina, there is so much contrast, that it's impossible to not recognize it.  Beyond the change in climate, its a change in demographics, approach to learning, classroom capabilities, and student culture; almost all of these changes have been for the better.

The Carmel School is small by most standards - there's roughly 25 teachers from PreK-12 and we all fit snugly in one(ish) building.  (Technically, it's two buildings that is connected by an open-air breezeway.  But the second building only houses the gym, cafeteria, two classrooms for art, music, drama, and Spanish, and a handful of offices.)  The school has a 135 student enrollment, and I am responsible for about 60 of them.  Our schedule varies from day-to-day: three days a week, we run an 8-period schedule, and the other two days are 4-periods block schedule format.  Twice a week, all students participate in clubs and a Chapel service, which is open for any staff member to speak as God leads, although we do have a Chaplin and Bible teacher who speaks the majority of the time.

My favorite part of the whole change is the curriculum.  Goodbye Common Core and hello freedom!  Virginia never bought in to the Common Core from the get-go, but Carmel is an independent school anyway.  So that means the teachers ultimately get to decide the scope, sequence, and pacing of all the material.  At mid-year and end-year, I write my own mid-term and final exam respectively.  Apart from the ACT, PSAT, and SAT, we don't offer or mandate any standardized test.  And this is still a very hard reality for me to grasp.  I certainly like it, but its just taking me awhile to adjust to the idea.  Since I teach sixth grade all the way through Algebra 2, it's also been enlightening and inspiring to control the progression of the math courses from "simple arithmetic" to characteristics of functions.

However, every teacher knows that it's the students that make the job worthwhile and it's no different here in Carmel.  The openness to speak about God and religion and church as a whole certainly has an interesting dynamic in the classroom, but for the most part, students act pretty much the same at Carmel as they did in Vestal.  I remember when my friend Tom started teaching at a school in South Korea, and when I asked him about the students there compared to his job in New York, he pretty much observed the same.  There are the handful of very bright and insightful students, another small cohort of students who struggle for a variety of reasons, and a lot of students who fall in the middle.  As a whole, the students have been very graceful with me as I am getting acclimated.  The first few weeks in particular were rough, but at this point, I have better handle and pulse on the student culture.  Most importantly, I see them as their own selves.  They aren't a bunch of kids that replaced the ones at Vestal, but rather a unique bunch of pre-teens and teens that formed their own place in my heart.

Lastly, the administration isn't even comparable.  It's nice to finally have found a place where teachers and administrators support each other; I've been encouraged professionally and spiritually by them on a regular basis.  During observations, I've been confirmed in my teaching and choices, and also gently spurred to try different techniques and approaches.  And even though there hasn't been any hint of malice or frustration between us, I'm still learning to trust administrators again.  Considering I spent the last two years of my career avoiding and building mistrust, the ability to treat my administrators as a new set of people has proven more difficult than I anticipated.  As my time at Carmel continues, I do pray the hurts and pains of the past heal and that I can work all my peers in a way that merits a more deserved respect.

That's enough for now.  I'll be updating much more often I promise.

The Road to Virginia...

... is actually many roads.  And there are a few different routes you can travel when starting from the Southern Tier.  You're probably going to start on I-81 South and from there you have a few choices.  But before going too far, make sure you stop at my favorite trucker station - The Flying J - and fill up your tank on that cheaper out-of-state gas!

But I am getting ahead of myself.  The day before moving, a Sunday, we were helped by some of our closest church friends, and we really appreciate the effort and time they gave to us.  Among those people was Andrea's family, who graciously volunteered themselves in traveling and moving us into our new apartment the following day.  Despite my fears that the moving truck (or apartment) would "shrink" as we loaded our possessions, it never did and everything fit with more than enough room.

The plan for moving required four drivers and four vehicles.  I accepted the challenge of driving the moving truck and was accompanied by our cat, Mert.  Andrea drove the family car (named Elaine) with her mother entertaining Evelyn.  Adam, who accompanied me to Virginia in my previous post, drove my car (Serena) with his sister, Becca.  And Andrea's father, D., drove down in the Charger so that everyone had a ride back to New York the next morning.

However, nothing ever goes according to plan.  We started over an hour late and the Charger had oil slowly leaking from its reservoir.  And when we were ready to leave, there was a loud and obnoxious wood-chipper in front of our house, which is a story for another time.  So as we left, we split into three groups.  Serena left first to get coffee and breakfast, Elaine traveled behind me, and the charger went to an auto parts store to buy some oil.

Before 30 miles had eclipsed, the cat had wet herself because of stupid wood-chipper and travel stresses, so I was happy when I finally got to the Flying J to meet up with Serena.  (Elaine continued on her trek, and we wouldn't see them again until we got to Virginia.)  In addition to getting fuel, I was able to clean-up Mert, who had pretty much given up on trying to convince me to let her out of the carrier.

With the exception of southern Pennsylvania, it was pretty smooth driving.  Having Serena travel behind me was great to block off cars in the passing lane when I needed to pass, and our fuel tanks were emptying at nearly the same rate.  We didn't have to stop again until we got to Maryland for refueling gas tanks and stomachs.  Eventually, D. caught up with Elaine, and they traveled in tandem for the rest of the trip.  Because our lunch stop was so long, D. and Elaine passed us as we ate and gave Mert clean-up.

From lunch we made it all the way to our new home, Breckenridge Apartments, and were meet by two of my new co-workers who volunteered themselves for physical labor.  Not more than ten minutes later, the rest our party arrived, and the rest of the evening was spent going up-and-down stairs, tending to the needs of Mert and Evelyn, and crashing out on mattresses, couches, futons and cots.

Unfortunately, the trip wasn't without some collateral damage.  By God's grace we all made it down without any problems, but when we attempted to start Serena at the apartment complex, the engine wouldn't turn.  Over the course of the next two days, I worked on it when I had the time, but ultimately, we had to get it towed to the mechanic.  In hindsight though, I'm just thankful it didn't stop working in Maryland, when we had lunch, because we would have had some serious complications.  So everyone who prayed for safe travels, thank you, because God was merciful to us there.

And that's about it for the Road to Virginia.  It's been fun to write about this transition in our lives, and we really appreciate all the support from friends and family that we've received.  Seasons of change always make us uncomfortable, but it's a way for us to lean into God and depend on Him all the more.  In our weakness and insecurity, there is strength and confidence in the One who is familiar with all our difficulties!

Scouting and Packing

After coming home from vacation, it was time to get to work.  Over the next five weeks, Andrea and I shoved all our earthly possessions into boxes, researched apartments online, and attempted to have one last gathering with friends, family and loved ones.  Lest I forget everything, may this post serve as a highlight reel.

Many mornings, days and nights were spent on packing things into boxes and assessing their value.

• Evelyn was blessed with a gracious, six-year collection of clothing that we stored in the attic, but without such a massive storage space in Virginia, we brought with us only what she would need for the upcoming year or two.  Thankfully, Andrea's grandma offered her attic to store the remaining clothing items for the short-term future, so we didn't have to donate them away. 
• Speaking of donation, it's amazing how much extra stuff we collected in only five years of marriage.  It's been nothing less than eye-opening to realize how much we really need and don't need in regards to material possessions.  So we piled bags upon boxes and were refreshed in the blessing that places like Birthright and consignment stores exist.  Although exploring it's ideas before the move, I think it is the motivation behind Andrea's most recent (and timely) minimalism kick.
• But really, we just spent most of our time packing and figuring out if we really wanted to move all our stuff.  It was exhausting and annoying and I'm glad it's over now.

In the middle of all that packing, I was lucky enough to drive down to Virginia with Andrea's brother, Adam, to scout out the prospective apartments that interested us as well as the surrounding neighborhoods.  It also doubled as a great bonding experience for Adam and me, considering we were in the car for over 12 hours that day.  Although it was a long day and a lot of miles, in hindsight, I was thankful that I was able to get there and back, and especially with no car problems for once.  Eating at Steak N' Shake for dinner wasn't a bad consolation prize either.


Our final weeks of living in the Southern Tier, of course, was peppered with both sadness and excitement.  As much as we were excited for the new adventures that await us, it's always hard saying good-bye to familiar places, and people, and our local Wegman's.  As much as we could, we scheduled our last weeks visiting these people and places, making the most of every opportunity.  Transitions are tough for nearly everyone, yet I am still steadfast and certain that God has placed us here for a reason.  It is our daily prayer as of late that we find ourselves a loving church and friends that we can love just as much as family.

Vacation and a Well-Constructed Fire

Before knowing I would even be in a position to accept a job offer, Andrea and I had planned to vacation immediately after the school year ended for a few reasons.  I figured that I would be borderline miserable as the school year concluded, and I think that would have held up if I wasn't interviewing once or twice a week.  Also, I figured if I did happen to land a job, we would have to move quickly and definitely in August.  So taking some time to relax in the first of week of July seemed appropriate.

It took us all of about 20 seconds to figure out where we wanted to go.  The cottage on Cayuga Lake was the obvious choice because it is isolated from a lot of things that get us both distracted and/or annoyed.  A quiet location, by water, and doesn’t have access to the Internet. 

Turns out, we couldn’t have picked a better time either.  The weather was beautiful and allowed for excessive outdoor activity.  Evelyn, who normally gets about an hour or two (at most) of outdoor time at home, was outside for almost all her time barring eating and sleeping.  She enjoyed throwing rocks into the lake, kicking balls inside and outside the house, wading in the water with anyone who will take her out, and going on long walks up and down the private road.  Andrea made amazing breakfasts and dinners and I picked up where I left off last summer regarding my delicious grilling.  Andrea and I even managed to get a few dates in there, and capped it all off with a beautiful wedding ceremony of one of my closest high school friends.

A month or two before I had secured the job, I promised myself that I would have an overly dramatic “finalization event” of some sort that would landmark the finality of Vestal and the beginning of a new (and better) era.  With everything falling into place right before vacation, it quickly came to me that a proper “Burning of the Documents” would be perfect.  (For reference: The Documents were the collection of papers created by Vestal administrators that ultimately justified their belief that I should be denied tenure.)  The cottage already has a place for bonfires, so I just had to obtain some wood to burn.  Although it would be much easier to find someone giving away free wood, or simply buy some bundled wood, I felt it more appropriate if I procure the wood by my own sweat.  Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that the sand on the beach and the water was littered with driftwood.  So I spent the first few days of vacation rescuing driftwood from their watery depths and laying them out to dry on the dock. 

In the morning on the day of the “Burning of the Documents,” I carefully constructed the wood that I had collected into a respectable cabin-like arrangement.  As I was doing so, I thought of all those alters that people in the Old Testament made by hand.  Although my sacrifice wasn't nearly as impressive, it still takes a lot of work and time and thought to make.  In that sense, I suppose the process of building such an alter is also an act of devotion and worship that can be even more therapeutic and sanctifying than the burning of the offering itself.

Watching the fires burn away the papers I have grown to detest was deeply satisfying for me.  And even though those papers don’t have any physical existence anymore (except in some forsaken corner of the administrative building), they still have greatly changed many people’s lives.  But the whole reason I wanted this fire was to remind me that this was something painful, but it was also being removed from my life; akin to the way God purges us of our sin.  Of course, the result of our sin carries with us the rest of our lives.  But by same act of grace, God doesn't see that in us.  And when our final day comes, those who trust God can be found without blame or fault.  Certainly not by our own doings, but rather our holiness comes solely from the flames of purification that only God controls.  In this, ultimately, I will find my final rest, and I won't have to build the fire myself either.

A Better Proposition

I ended the previous blog a bit precariously on purpose.  Writing all these entries in hindsight allows me to play around with the timeline a bit, and I’m finding that enjoyable.  So humor me a little bit as I indulge myself here; its fun to write like this.

Almost like a reward for the ridiculous circumstances in my previous interview, God prompted another private Christian school in Virginia to call me the very next day (Monday) after I sent the e-mail (but unlike the last school, this one actually does believe in the Bible).  After some brief conversation, we scheduled a Skype interview for the following day.  

Only, something very different happened and unexpected at what I thought was the end of the interview.  The Headmaster of the school dismissed his colleagues, but requested that I stay online with him to talk about further matters.  I told him about my misfortunes at Vestal, and he countered with a list of expectations of their teachers that would make any public teacher in New York State instantly jealous.  As we started talking salary though, we ran into some conflict.  Predictably, I was asking for too much than what they had to give me.  At this point, I expected the conversation would be over and I’d be waiting for the next call from another school.

Only, something very beautiful happened.  We both expressed a mutual wanting to make the position work for all parties and a mutual disappointment if something couldn’t be reached.  So we started talking about numbers and creative ways to increase the salary.  By the end of the negotiation, I left with a promise of a decent-enough paying job (and some exciting additional obligations) and soon-to-be-coming offer, and he left with a high performing (and ruggedly good-looking) math teacher at his school next year.  In contrast to my experience at Vestal, the beauty came through our collective ability to work through a conflict and create a result where everyone feels good about what happened:  the elusive win-win.  Before even starting my first day, I know I’m working with a school that doesn’t fear conflict, and is willing to honestly work towards real and effective solutions.

Only four days after the initial interest phone call, I was presented an official offer.  After the weekend to talk it over with Andrea, I accepted my position the following Monday, though I still can't help but chuckle at the timing.  What was supposed to be my first official day of unemployment became the day that I accepted an offer to teach.  Although the way everything has been happening isn’t my first choice in any respects, I’m comfortable enough at this point to say that God has been faithful and gracious; certainly God calls His faithful to venture out to unknown places and uncomfortable situations.  In due time, I'm sure His purpose and will to be clarified daily.

Before dealing with the stresses of relocation, there is still some unfinished business to take care of…

An Interesting Interview

As I already mentioned here before, I've given up on the disappointing interviews and non-calls from public schools within state lines, so I've been working alongside the STA to find a school that wouldn’t judge my teaching based on my troubled past, but instead on my credentials, qualifications and promising potential. 

The first place that showed some interest was a private Christian school in Virginia.  After what I thought was an excellent Friday interview over Skype, I was given a simple assignment.  Check out that school’s church’s website, and give some feedback on a few of the sermons.  “Simple enough,” I thought.  I already had done some researching of my own on both the school’s and the church’s website, and was mainly impressed apart from a few minor things. Knowing that no church is perfect (not even Good Shepherd), I was willing to glance over that for the time being.  I even thought it wonderful that I might not only find employment through this school, but also find a church as well.  You know… the whole two-birds-and-one-stone thing.

So when Evelyn went down for her nap on the following Saturday afternoon, Andrea and I listened to the first sermon, which was given on Father’s Day so it was about relationships that Fathers should have.  Admittedly, I was a bit skeptic before listening to a Father’s Day sermon because I think they are inherently corny.  But this one wasn’t too bad (barring a few Biblical understatements) and I felt it addressed a predominant issue concerning church-going men in general.

But for more assurance, I decided to listen to the sermon the week before that to get an idea of what type of preaching happened on a non-holiday.  I was, to the say the least, shocked. Without having to repeat myself, here is an edited excerpt of the e-mail I sent my interviewer.

Mr. _______,  

As for the  message, it was very hard for me to watch it because I adamantly disagreed with many of the pastor's points, the chief of which dealt with his interpretation and use of the Bible.  Although the Bible is not God, the Bible is God's infallible and living Word and it is our best and only resource that Christians have in being able to interpret the will of God, from daily spiritual living to the accountability of a church and their leaders.  Unless there is an issue within your church where you have too many Christians reading and memorizing the Bible exclusively, that long exposition taken to undermine the Bible seemed excessive and unnecessary and to be honest, frightening as a Christian.  

I have been to many churches across a number of denominations, but I have never been a part of a church body where the Bible was being read too much; in fact, it seems as though American Christians in particular know practically nothing about their Bible, let alone knowing it deeply.  I know that you are not advising to neglect Bible studies, however, I find it difficult to believe that people don't read anything but the Bible and the Bible alone in this day and age.  Although I am not ordained as a pastor or priest, if I were, I would much rather have a church that knows their Bible too much, than not enough.  From that standpoint, you really could lead a church to do many great things across the community - especially in the building of disciples.  

The last major thing I noticed in both sermons is that there seems to be a large emphasis on human will and overcoming difficulties with more personal strength and effort.  Before and after committing my life to Christ, I lacked no ambition to put my all into everything.  In fact, that is how I was raised.  Whether it is raising a family, teaching people mathematics, or assisting and serving my church, I (unfortunately) pride myself greatly on my efforts and completed tasks.  Simply, I have never been accused of not working hard or trying my best; in everything I do, I do it for the Lord.  Because of my obvious and glaring failures in life, I know that I need something more than myself to produce anything good.  Sometimes my best efforts just aren't enough, and that is why Jesus teaches us to be repentant and dependent on him.  A reliance on self is the sin of pride, which we should count as loss.  When we rely on our own effort and strength, we are attempting to bend God to our will and that is a sin.  That is why Jesus prays, "Not my will be done, but yours."  It is a beautiful, powerful, and transforming prayer for us to adopt as well.  If the pastor's point here was to urge an apathetic or lazy church into action, then the message should not be for them to rely on their own strength to gain success.  We have already tried, and we have already failed.  Instead, we should be rely on the only thing we know that is dependable, which is God's sufficient grace.  So then if we fail, we are not destitute with ourselves or disappointed with our outcomes, but instead, comforted that Jesus still continues to love us despite our (many) failures.  Regardless of our efforts, the will of God always happens. 

I know that writing this next statement probably kills my chances of getting the job, and I'm fully prepared for that fact.  However I'm going to say it anyways; I know that my wife and I would not feel comfortable becoming members of your church, and if offered the job, we have already decided on looking for another church to further our walk with God.  I told you in my interview that I'm always honest with my students, but the same goes with my co-workers and administration as well.  

I know this response may seem harsh and uncomfortable, however, I do await a response from you about this.  Thank you for reading my reply all the way through.

Needless to say, it took some bravery knowing it would most likely remove me as a candidate for the position, but it was exhilarating to write.  To make a stand for the Gospel in such a clear and succinct way strengthened my resolve to find a job where I knew we would respect one another mutually.  To accept as job such as that one would ultimately be no better than my situation in Vestal.

Bear's Bane

The final two weeks of the year are reserved for final exams (for students) and grading and paperwork (for teachers).  After a year of teaching students how to do compute countless number of algorithms, understand deep mathematical concepts, and struggling through mistakes, by the time finals come around, it’s always an anxious time for teachers who honestly care about their students.  This year, I had 26 students attempt New York’s hardest math Regents: the dreaded Algebra 2/Trigonometry Exam.  Even though I hand seven more students than last year, I was content with nearly identical passing (81%) and mastery (27%) rates as last year.  Once the anticipation faded, days were spent between entering data, completing teaching evaluation paperwork, and writing e-mails.  Sprinkle in a little bit of desk cleaning, student obligation forms, and inventorying calculators and books, and you got yourself a solid six to eight days of work.

As much as that may sound mundane, it was also in equal parts surreal.  I couldn’t help but think, “These are my last exams here,” or, “Why am I completely emptying out my filing cabinet,” or, “I’m so glad I’ll never have to fill out these useless evaluation forms again.”  Thoughts like these are reserved for teachers with much more gray hair and many more years of experience than I have of either. Not only has the typical school year worn me out, but the emotion attached to this year in particular left me physically and mentally exhausted.  Don’t read this as ingratitude though.  I’m very grateful for the many people whom I’ve worked alongside with over the past three years, and their words of encouragement regarding my strength of character, work ethic, commitment to students, and dedication to the profession as a whole.  But no one can deny the mystery or absurdity about my departure from Vestal - and that still includes me.  The situation defies all reason and understanding and logic, and over the past 14 months it’s been hard working toward forgiveness, acceptance and peace.  If nothing else, it’s been a comfort to pray to God on a weekly basis, “From You, no secrets are hid.”  Though I am surrounded in uncertainty, the Lord has not even flinched; He knows the dark secrets of men and has guided me well despite my doubt and unbelief. 

Interspersed in those final two weeks were a series of interviews, but more about those later.  As for Vestal and the Golden Bears, I certainly can’t say it’s been a great time.  There are people and times and places that I will look back on and remember with intense fondness.  My very first day of classes as a first year teacher, the shouts of “Kovac” down the halls, the exact moment I found out my second year Algebra 2/ Trig scores, and all the conversations between respected peers and students in the math office and extra help room, respectively, are a few that come immediately to mind.  Attached to those memories though – as close as shadows – are times where I struggled to value myself not only as a half-way decent teacher, but even as a father, husband, and a man.  Although not completely joyless, this has been a dark time.

So Goodbye Vestal; I wish I could say otherwise, but you will not be missed.

Taking Back the Sabbath

Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.  Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.  On it you shall not do any work, you or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is in your gates.  For in six days the Lord made Heaven and Earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day.  Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath and made it holy.

Exodus 20:8-11

Almost a year ago, I felt it was time to take this passage seriously.  In a very busy and quick-paced world, we barely value a planned time of rest that allows us to relax and take a break from our labors.  Before my commitment to celebrating a Sabbath, I used Sunday mainly as a day to catch up on everything that I had fallen behind on -  mainly school work or cleaning the house.  But honestly, I knew that God wants us to dedicate this day to rest, fellowship, family, and most importantly, worship.  

So before a few weeks before school started, I committed myself to the Sabbath, and surprisingly, it was hard.  I wanted so much to work and "get stuff done."  But like any habit we want to cultivate, it starts off as a challenge, and gets easier over time.  Starting before school ensured that I didn't have to worry about my school work, and the plan worked beautifully.  As summer turned to fall, I was already in the habit of not working on Sundays.

I also discovered some other surprising benefits that happen outside of Sunday.  At school, I was more effective and productive.  We also started doing dishes everyday, instead of a mega-load of dishes every few days.  When necessary, all the important stuff with school and home was taken care of on Saturday, which gave Sunday a chance for everyone to rest and relax.  Before too long, Sundays became a joy again; it's a day I look forward to now.  Unsurprisingly, God knows what is best for us, even when we think that we have a better plan.  Huh, who knew?

Employment Update

I know that some people rely exclusively on this blog to know what's happening in my life.  Since dropping this bomb in March, and considering my last post might have been too cryptic, here's a brief update on my employment woes and asperations.

If I haven't already mentioned it, we would really love to stay in the area because of church and family, but the odds are really against that at this point.  A few weeks ago, I had two interviews with two different schools, but unfortunately, struck out of both in the first round.

But for now, I have an interview on Wednesday with a local school, and I recently sent another application to another nearby district.  If those two don't work out though, it seems all but certain that we will be leaving the Southern Tier.

June was a self-imposed deadline of mine to start looking for other schools, and I already started filling out my application with the STA - the Southern Teachers Agency.   I've worked with the STA three years ago and actually secured two positions through them.  But when it came time to accept, I got cold feet, (maybe stupidly) rejected the offers, and withdrew my name from future considerations.  I just couldn't bear the idea of leaving family and friends at the time.  Ironically, a lot of them have ended up moving away since then.  This time, I confident in my willingness to move; I think a lot of that has to do with being a father and husband who provides.  The aspect of being unemployed past September isn't even something I've considered.  But I'm relatively hopeful that I'll be able to get something considering that I am a better and more experienced teacher.

I also will be applying to a few more schools in New York as a find them.  I'm sure there are more than what I have found up to this point, but without leads from friends, it's utterly exhausting to find them on district websites.

Mentally, most of my focus has been on trying to make sure my students do well on the Regents in two weeks.  So I haven't spent a lot of time feeling depressed or sorry for myself.  Between interviewing and applying (and haven't a year-and-a-half-old), that's kept me more than busy.

Pray that God's will be done and that it's revealed soon.

Thanks!

It is Good that One should Wait Quietly

I don't really have the words right now to express how frustrated I am with job searching...

...but thankfully God does.  I read this yesterday and was refreshed that I am not the first person who has ever pressed hard at something to only discover defeat after defeat.  I understand that it's not my efforts that will save me, but rather God, in His enduring love and wisdom, who crafts for me the direction that is for me and my family.  Before too long, I hope to discover what that way is as well.

Lamentations 3:25-33

²⁵ The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
    to the soul who seeks him.
²⁶ It is good that one should wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.
²⁷ It is good for a man that he bear
    the yoke in his youth.

²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence
    when it is laid on him;
²⁹ let him put his mouth in the dust—
    there may yet be hope;
³⁰ let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
    and let him be filled with insults.

³¹ For the Lord will not
    cast off forever,
³² but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
    according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
³³ for he does not afflict from his heart
 

Book Review: One Second After

Inevitably, I always end up in an English classroom when I proctor the SAT and the most recent administration of it was no different.  A day before the exam, I noticed a few of my seniors - students who I don't really have pegged as "readers" - reading One Second After in spare moments before their next class.  Coincidentally enough, the SAT room had a pile of the very same book, so I picked it up and started reading it... and didn't really stop until I went to bed that night... and I read through it every spare moment on the following Sunday.  Because I'm a slow reader, I still had two or three chapters to finish the following weekend.

When it comes to media in general, I rarely think much about the ideas or topics or themes presented.  Most of them seem cliched or poorly researched at best.  And even though this book is categorized as science-fiction, it's tangibility is frightening and all too believable.  Without spoilers, the premise of Forstchen's book takes place in present-day America and a weapon known as an EMP detonates across the entire country, leaving almost everything electrical dead and useless.  It's effects are far reaching and, personally, frieghtening to watch as the country descends into a technology-level equivalent of the nineteenth century.  Being unequipped both physically and psychologically, the citizens of America immediately transforms into a city-state like way of living where people act in hysteria and panic.  Forstechen has a special way of communicating how the removal of one profound, modern convenience - electricity - brings out the very worst in everyone.

It comes to no surprise that Forstchen is very educated and fascinated with world history through the lens of military and conflict.  The central characters all have a military background and use that type of diction and mindset fluently throughout the novel.  Furthermore, Forstchen makes numerous references to popular book, TV programs and movies to help the reader get into the mindset of the central characters and understand the lifestyle required to survive in such a unknown and dangerous time.  While I found the constant referral to these references to be cheesy at times, I think it's repetition speaks as to how people in first-world countries choose to prioritize entertainment.  The author is most certainly a patriot, and he definitely has strong ideas of what America should be like.  This book is probably his worst nightmare and I severely wonder how he brought himself to write this.

Perhaps the biggest impact this book will have on me is how realistic the opening chapters were.  The attack, the suddenness, and the inability of the country, state, and town governments to be prepared for an attack that isn't as unrealistic as some would hope.  This book starts a conversation on how fragile this country truly is to any group or country that wishes to do us harm.  Although the EMP is a special type of attack that requires hi-tech equipment, there is still a potential of a regional attack that requires far less effort to carry out successfully.  As I was reading the first chapters, it was frightening as a citizen and a father, how often I was thinking, "Yes, this is possible," or "That's not too far from the truth," or simply, "My God, that would probably happen."  Additionally, it's worth noting that this book also addresses the utter neglect and disrespect of an entire demographic and how much we take many of our modern conveniences for granted.  Remove electricity, and you quickly find out how independent we have become of others, and how much a resourceful and united community is a necessity for survival.

Where as the first chapters easily replicable throughout the entire country, it's later chapters are very specific to its setting, Black Mountain, NC, and it's residents.  The author chooses to place many military and southern-culture Christians in his book, and at times, it both types are a bit over-the-top in presentation.  I suppose that is required in a sale of a novel, but the bigger picture lessons are invaluable.  It's undeniable that large scale death would occur through a variety of means such as starvation, lack of nutrition, a winter season, lawlessness and disease.  If you can separate the local events from the bigger picture that Forstchen is trying to paint, you'll glean a lot more from this reading.

Admittedly, I haven't read a lot of books that are either apocalyptic or militaristic; so I might be easily influenced here.  But since reading this, I'm consistently thinking, "If an EMP took out all the electric right now, what would my family do?" or the less dramatic case, "How am I prepared for _______-type emergency."  I've had deep and interesting conversations with my wife about the events in this book, and it's been invigorating to have such living discussion about our own, personal emergency readiness.

At this point, I question how secure and prepared we are as a country, as a state, or even as a town, for a devastating natural or terrorist sources.  (Watching how my community dealt with the last flood in particular, I don't think I'm alone in that thought.)  However, it's undeniable that I can not view my country or community the same way again.

I'll close with the same sentiments as the author.  It would be a joy is no one would have to witness what happens in the book.  But if our country becomes suddenly disabled in the way described above, it will be devastating on every level imaginable.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Book Review: Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus

Everything I knew, which granted, wasn't much, about Frankenstein is wrong.  On a suggestion from one of my new favorite websites - The Art of Manliness - I decided to branch out and read some fiction in the form of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus.  And I was pleasently surprised.

Unabridged, of course!

Like my last review, I don't think it's worth my time to write any sort of synopsis as there are many that do a much better job than I care to write.  Instead, just wanted to share some thoughts I had while read it.  (I'll keep it as spoiler-free as possible.)

Surprise #1 - Forget Everything You think You know about Frankenstein!
I might be late to the party here, but I didn't realize that Frankenstein wasn't the name of the monster, but rather the last name of the man who created him: Victor Frankenstein.  The monster isn't named throughout the entirety of the text and I don't think that's by accident.  Victor, who serves as the main narrator, comes to detest his living creation, and considering that people tend to affectionately name those who are close to them, like babies and pets, a lack of a name acts as a symbol of regret.  Bonus Surprise: Frankenstein isn't a lethargic, green-skinned man with bolts in his side.  Instead, just think of a giant, ugly man.

Surprise #2 - Fiction in the Real World
I used to read a little bit of sci-fi when I was younger, and most of them have a setting in an unbelievable world.  So I thought it was interesting that all the events occur in real places - real cities, real countries, and real towns.  In fact, the only aspect of the book that makes it fiction is  Frankenstein's monster.  So for someone like me who isn't big into fiction, it was easy for me to get engaged in the text.  On top of that, I was delighted and challenged by the language.  Maybe it's because I read the unabridged edition, but the diction throughout the book is at a high level and the descriptions are vibrant and interesting.  

Surprise #3 - Creation Implies Purpose
One of the reoccurring themes is the idea that the created should be created for a purpose.  Without giving too much away, it becomes evident that Shelley's is trying to convey that a life without purpose is a life of misery, destruction, and absolute despair.  I'm unsure of Shelley's personal or religious beliefs, but as I was reading, I couldn't help but think that it is important of us to know we are literally made in the image of our Creator.  Nothing should be created without a purpose, and anything created without a purpose is utterly useless and alone.  Plainly, creation and purpose must go hand-in-hand.

Surprise #4 - People are Meant to be Together
Imagine a world where you are the only person to have ever lived; no person has lived before you and no person will live after you.  The feeling of loneliness is about as close as misery as we can get, and Shelley ensures that you don't forget this while reading.  People are meant to be in community and to be together.  There are long, articulate sections where this idea is explored in-full, if you got time to read this short 200-page classic, I highly recommend it!

Rating: 4 out of 5

If You Learn from the Past - You're Still Doomed to Repeat It

Lent 2014: Entry #5

Out of all the different subjects I learned at school, history was probably the least exciting for me.  Of course, I did well for myself in global studies and US history, but I just never cultivated a love for it.  I even made it an effort to stay away from all the history classes offered to me when I went to college - and instead replaced them with literature, writing and social science classes.  To me, history just seemed to be a bunch of places, people and dates.  Maybe I just didn't connect with the right type of teachers to make it worthwhile for me.  (My tenth grade global teacher, I recall, threatened to throw me out of the window because I kept opening it before class.) 

But since graduating from college, my thoughts and interests on history have changed quite a bit.  (1) For starters, I've tried to understand my state, my country and my world a little better.  Whether it's local or global happenings, elections, foreign policy, war and conflict, or economy, at the very least, I try to have some clue of what is going on.  Ask me about something that happened pre-2004 though and I probably won't have too much to share.  (2) Through conversations with people, I have learned history is really in the eye of the beholder; not everyone views the same issue or event the same way.  People bring their biases, belief systems, and personal experiences into every conversation whether they intend to or not.  And that's not a bad thing, it's just the way it is.  (3)  And lastly, I've really grown in my theology and understanding of Christianity as a whole.  Andrea and I was able to take a systematic theology class a few years ago through our church, and in addition to that, I've been reading through my Bible very aggressively over the past few years.  I understand my Bible today much more than I ever have, and I thank God that He has given me the passion for it.

All this leads to a conversation I had with Andrea this weekend.  Maybe this wasn't the case with everyone, but I distinctly remember being taught two fairly important concepts about history in general:  (1) People in ancient and previous cultures were either unintelligent or weren't fully aware of the world around them, and as a result, they were conquered or destroyed because of their folly, and (2) the problems, and challenges, and conflicts we have today are unique.

However, I believe that both issues are one in the same.  As I read through the historical accounts in the Bible, many of the issues spots there are the same issues that plague us today.  We still have countries going to war over resources and territory.  Politicians and governments still struggle with others within and beyond their country's lines about domestic laws, religious freedoms, human rights and/or foreign policy.  Furthermore, society has always had a difficult time controlling and morally using technologies, whether it's the spear, printing press, manufacturing machines, or the Internet.  Today, we talk about how the Internet can be such a powerful tool for education, and the only thing America's youth use it for is degrading others on social media.

Sure, the objects, or the people, or the place might be different, but people continue to make the same mistakes over again.  It's not that we haven't learned our history, it's simply because were imperfect - we sin and we enjoy sinning.  It's our selfish desires that create a tragic history, and that hasn't changed from the first man Adam up through President Obama or any other person in between (expect Jesus, obviously).  The ancients weren't any more or less intelligent than we are.  Technology may be advancing, but the human race is not.  History, like math, doesn't lie.  You can have dozens of perspectives of the same event in history, but they are all going to tell you that it was a man's sin that started it all - despite their greatest intentions otherwise.

I guess the reason I'm writing this is that I'm feeling a little bit betrayed.  We were taught in school that if we learn from the past, then we won't repeat it.  But that's requires too much faith for me to believe that all seven billion of us can or even will choose to do the right thing.  Despite how much knowledge we possess, we still haven't tamed or disciplined our tongues, our thoughts, or our actions to anywhere close to perfection.  How can we possibly think that states, or countries, or alliances, or enemies will ever agree peaceably, when we can't even live in peace others, or really, even ourselves?

If I have learned anything from history, it's that we are going to continue to repeat it - whether we want to or not - until Jesus comes to save us all from ourselves.